Never Too Late

Chapter Five

Later in the day, when Johan was back in his room, he heard a knock on his door, and his father came in carrying a book.

"Can I sit with you for a minute?" He asked solemnly.

"Yeah, sure," Watching his father quietly, Johan could sense that he was a pillar of strength, yet he could tell he had his own emotions dealing with. This gave him a strange feeling of familiarity as he could see his own self reflected in him. He had never experienced this with anyone before, so he wondered if this was what it was like to be around family.

"I thought I would show you this," His father began as he opened the book, which Johan realized was an album. "I didn't have a chance to show you before because of all the running around we were doing."

Johan remained silent and watched as his father flipped through pages filled with family photos; unsurprisingly he saw that he and his brother looked exactly the same in childhood. He saw photos of his family at the beach, at amusement parks and events, all places he had never been, and memories he never got to make.

"Here is a baby picture of you," His father said stopping at a photo of him and his brother together in a cot. They were indistinguishable in matching baby clothes and swaddles. "This is you." His father said pointing to the infant on the right.

"How can you tell?" Johan asked confused.

"I can always recognize you, I'm your father." His dad smiled before flipping to another page that held more baby photos. As his father told him the stories behind each one, he found himself smiling and he wondered if it was because he had finally found his place among all the memories stored in the album.

"Here is the last photo we have of you before the accident." His father said turning to him somberly.

It was a photo of him smiling and sitting with his brother and parents on a blanket, in a grassy park. He thought of how innocent and happy he looked, oblivious that he would be torn away from his family soon.

"When they took you," his father said closing the album. "We tried everything to get you back, but when they told us you had died from your injury, I thought we were too late. Your mother and I were devastated, and when we tried to collect your body, they told us you were already cremated, all without our knowledge!"

His father's voice filled with pain as he spoke with rage and frustration. "I could feel that something wasn't right, but for your mother's sake, I decided to let it go and focus on your brother and her. If I had only looked further into what had happened-" His father paused as tears filled his eyes and he put his face into his hands.

Although Johan hadn't gotten the chance to know his father very well, he could tell that showing emotions like this was really hard for him, and it was a testament to how truly regretful he was.

"You couldn't have known," Johan offered to assuage his guilt. "It wasn't your fault."

"No, I should've tried but I was too afraid of being wrong!" His father confessed. "I'm so sorry, everything that happened is my fault."

As he took in his words, Johan slowly realized that his parents were still suffering deeply from all those years he wasn't around. Although he knew what happened also wasn't his fault, his chest felt heavy with guilt for unknowingly causing them so much sadness.

"If you still plan on leaving I have a few friends who can get you into a decent job." His father said wiping his eyes and composing himself.

"That's not necessary, I can figure things out on my own." Johan shook his head, not wanting to inconvenience his father anymore.

"It's the least I can do to make up for all these years." He dismissed as he smiled at his son.

***

Luke stood in the hallway outside Johan's door with his hands clenched as he wondered what he and his father were discussing. Deciding that it didn't matter, he walked away and went to his room to contemplate all that happened that morning and the chaos of emotions he was feeling.

Lying in his bed, he thought back to his birthday; he woke up excited and had spent his day with friends and the girl he liked. He didn't want a party so his mother offered to take him to a restaurant after his father got him his dream car. Everything was happening the way he wanted until he got home to his sister saying that he was already there. Nothing made sense.

Luke took his car keys off his desk and left the house before getting in his car and driving off. As he sped down the road, he thought of how he tried to stop his father after thinking he'd gone mad when he told him he believed that his twin brother, who died years ago, was still alive. Even after getting into his car with him, his father drove like a madman looking for someone who didn't exist or at least that's what he wished.

Driving into town, he went to a popular hangout spot where he and his friends frequented but it was nearly empty at the moment. Going inside, he sat at the back by the window and sighed deeply as his mind went back to his birthday.

When his father said he'd seen his brother, he had hoped he was confused or someone was playing a sick prank, but when he got out of the car to take a closer look at him, there was no denying it: they were twins.

Taking a heavy, shaky breath, he rubbed his forehead because he didn't know how to feel; he didn't know what to think. On one hand, he felt bad about what happened to Johan, he was glad his parents were so happy and he wanted to know more about his brother but on the other hand, he felt it wasn't his place to extend sympathies because he had no idea what his brother had gone through and how his parents had suffered. Leaning against the window, he watched the clouds slowly drift by and wondered what would happen once word got out about his brother and how everyone would react. He still didn't know how to process everything himself so there was no predicting how everyone else would feel.

He could become the laughingstock of the town!

What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say to his brother? He was certain that Johan hated him for having a comfortable life and with his outburst at breakfast that morning, he was sure his brother wanted nothing to do with him now. It was no wonder he wanted to leave as soon as he could.

Looking around, Luke took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up before blowing the smoke out the window.

"Maybe this is for the better," He mumbled as he realized it was too late for them to form any meaningful relationship with each other and it would be less awkward if Johan wasn't around.

Luke knew that his very existence was a constant reminder to his brother of the life he could've had and he couldn't help but pity him. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he put it out on an ashtray and then quickly took a mint to conceal the smell of his smoking.

Looking back at the window, he saw his reflection and acknowledged that he and his brother were two different people. He didn't know him well and vice versa. After he was gone, things would go back to normal, and he could move on with his life.