Love That Burns

sixteen

Logan couldn't remember another time in his life that he had been this nervous. He couldn't even understand why he was feeling this way. It's not like they were going on a date... right?

"Shit," he muttered as he paced his room.

Was this a date? Did you think of it that way? Did he want it to be a date? Yes, Logan was having feelings for you, but it was all confusing. He couldn't separate current feelings with past feelings and what maybe him just getting attached because you had known him before his memories disappeared. Logan couldn't lead you on. Not when he didn't know where he stood. You deserved so much better than that.

Maybe the nerves were that Logan wasn't ready to know the truth yet. He didn't want to put you through the trauma of talking about your past. Logan sighed, running a hand down his face. He was definitely over thinking this. But how could he not?

Besides, did you want anything to do with him? Logan had left you for twenty-two—almost twenty-three years. Maybe you were ready to move on. His stomach dropped at the thought. What would he do if you didn't want him anymore? He couldn't stay here, that's for sure. So did he really want to know what the two of you had if you weren't going to want him anymore? Logan was sure that would only hurt you more.

~~~

You were nervous about meeting up with Logan. How was this going to go? Was this a date? Did Logan want you do to all the talking? You wanted to know how his twenty-two years without you were, but you didn't want to press if it was going to be too hard for him. You needed to make things as comfortable for Logan as possible.

After putting the younger students to bed, you got to work. You threw together some snacks and retrieved some beer from under your bed. You set up in the common living room, anxiously moving items around and grabbing blankets. This had to be perfect. You wanted Logan to be comfortable as well as yourself. Eventually, you allowed yourself to sit down and wait with a book.

The time ticked away, with no sign of Logan anywhere. Sadness and frustration boiled within you. You ended up having to throw your book away after it caught on fire. Unable to sit still, you began pacing. You knew that Logan was still upstairs and it was taking so much of your energy to not go upstairs and chew him out. You couldn't let yourself do that though. The two of you hadn't set an exact time anyway. Maybe he was making sure that the students were in bed? Or maybe Rogue snagged him away for a moment?

Eventually, you found yourself sitting down, staring at the fireplace. Your hands nervous played with the dog tags around your neck as you dimmed and enlarged the flames in the fireplace. Slowly, though you fought against it, you fell asleep.

~~~

Logan hated himself. He knew that you were downstairs, he could hear you moving around and smell the smoke from your flames. He knew that you were waiting for him but no matter how many times his hand found the doorknob, he couldn't twist it. Glancing at the clock by his bed, Logan sighed. It was late and he hadn't heard you move in a little bit. He didn't believe you had gone to bed because he would have heard you as your rooms shared a hall.

With a deep breath, Logan finally got the courage to open the door. Whatever he found down there, Logan knew he would need to fix. He would beg on his hands and knees if he had to in order for you to forgive him for being a dick. Logan's hands grew clammy as he headed downstairs and towards the living room. His heart dropped when he stepped into the living room and found you asleep on the couch.

Looking around, Logan saw the fireplace was dimmed to embers and there were snacks and beers sit out on the coffee table. Guilt gnawed at Logan. He hadn't showed up and you had everything ready for him. He needed to fix this, if you'd ever talk to him again anyway. Grabbing the snacks and beers, Logan headed to the kitchen to put everything away.