Love That Burns

twenty-five

 The tension was heavy in the room. You could sense it without opening your eyes. You could also sense the brooding man sitting on the chair beside you.

Logan could tell that you were awake, yet you hadn't opened your eyes. He wasn't going to call you out on it, waiting for you to be ready. He was hunched over, hands clasped together, and eyes on his feet.

You blinked open your eyes and looked over at Logan. He looked so broken, and you absolutely hated that. But you knew what you had seen, and you hated him for it. There was also the fact that in the last twenty-four hours, Jean had come back from the dead, and Scott and Charles had been lost. You sat up, causing Logan to look at you.

The silence was drowning. But neither of you knew where to start.

"Y/N," your name dropped from Logan's lips like a desperate prayer.

You shook your head, emotions already rushing to the surface. "I can't do this," you rasped. "Not right now."

"Please. Let me explain."

You pushed yourself off the other side of the bed, standing on shaky legs. "No... not now. Not when Charles—" You stopped yourself. Charles was gone. Your longest friendship besides Logan.

Logan stood up. His body was screaming for any touch from you, but he was careful not to make any sudden movements.

"Charles is gone," you whispered. "Scott is gone."

"I know," Logan responded. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

You shook your head. "Don't—Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that."

Logan took a step towards you, causing you to take a step back. The heartbreak was written on both of your faces.

"You've got to give me a chance to explain, Y/N," Logan was close to getting on his knees to beg for you to listen to him.

A knock on the door broke you two from the tension, causing you to jump.

"Y/N, Logan," Ororo called. "I've gathered the students. Do you want to help break the news?"

You walked over to the door and opened it. "I'll go."

"Y/N," Logan called.

You shut the door before he could stop you.

~~~

The students took the news as well as could be expected. You spent the rest of the day ignoring your own problems and grief so that you could focus on the students. You also helped Ororo plan a memorial service for the next day. Logan stuck to the shadows, constantly watching you. He wanted to be there for you, especially if you were to completely break down. You ignored Logan even though you could feel his eyes everywhere you went.

You were exhausted when the day was over. You trudged up the stairs to your room. All you wanted was to curl up in Logan's arms and cry, but you couldn't get the image of Logan on top of Jean out of your mind. As soon as you were in your room, you shut the door and locked it.

Logan was at the top of the stairs and heard the lock. He wanted to go to the door and beg for you to open up but didn't know if he should. He wanted to respect your need for time and space. But there was something screaming at him to not let you be alone. With heavy steps, Logan came over to your door and knocked. He could hear you crying on the other side.

"Sweetheart," Logan's voice was shaking. He had to pause and swallow down some of his own emotions. "Please let me in... I won't stay if you don't want me to, but I want to clear the air... I need to tell you what happened."