Rescue Nova

"I Want to Get Rid of My Mommy."

Nova had really enjoyed her visit with Emily, but the main thing that stayed in her mind was Emily telling her that she "got rid of" her biological mother. She replayed that conversation over and over again. She was not thinking about being adopted. That never entered her mind. She was just stuck on the idea of Billie Jo no longer carrying the title of her mother.

That night, in bed, she thought about it with a mix of hope and worry. She worried about her mother's reaction to being disowned. Would Billie Jo be in the courtroom when the judge heard her petition? Would she be enraged and hurt Nova? She also worried about Don.

Having grown up primarily in a series of hotel rooms, and watched a ton of television, Nova knew exactly what a judge was. It was someone that Don would definitely not approve of her speaking to. Leila and Kimberly had told Nova that Don was dead, but the trauma of his anger was very much alive in the little one's mind. Fear isn't always rational, and the idea of what Don would think of her in the presence of a judge frightened her.

Still, Nova remained hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, she could free herself of Billie Jo without being harmed in the process. She fantasied about it as she drifted off to sleep.

I don't want her to be my mommy anymore. I want a judge to say that she's not.

•••••••••••••••

Nova said nothing about wanting to terminate Billie Jo as her mother for a few days because little her was unsure about how to bring it up and, when she was out of headspace, she hadn't even remembered it. Finally, in headspace, she told Leila and Kimberly her wish at breakfast Sunday morning.

"I want to get rid of my mommy."

Leila and Kimberly didn't understand at first. They told her that she had, thinking she only meant that she wanted to be away from her mother.

"I want to get rid of my mommy the way Emily got rid of hers."

You could have knocked Leila and Kimberly over with a feather. Somehow, before this moment, it never occurred to them to take into account what the two little children discussed with each other when they were alone.

Obviously, Emily had told Nova about the terminating of her biological mother's parental rights. However, that's not what worried Leila and Kimberly. What had them frightened was what happened after that. Emily was adopted by her caregivers.

"What do you mean?" Kimberly was the first one who had the presence of mind to speak.

"I want a judge to tell my mommy that she's not my mommy anymore."

"Did you get that idea from Emily?" Leila had to be sure.

Nova nodded. "I don't want my mommy anymore, either."

"What else did Emily tell you?"

"That she didn't want her mommy, so she made a judge tell her mommy that she was getting rid of her."

"And that's all you want?" Leila asked.

"Yes."

Kimberly and Leila looked at each other, both seeing that the other felt the same. As long as Nova was not asking for adoption, there was no problem for them.

"All right," Kimberly said. "We'll talk to big Nova about this and take it from there."

Nova smiled and nodded. "But remind me."

Kimberly, after remembering that Nova was sometimes amnesiac to her time in headspace, assured her that, the next time she saw out-of-headspace Nova, she would.