Shadow slave Self insert: Blinded by love

the reason i live

I... once had a dream. I read stories, many stories, of people getting reincarnated into the worlds they longed to be part of—places of fantasy, of horror, worlds filled with magic or technology far beyond our own.

My dream was similar. I wanted to be born into a world full of pain and disaster, full of sorrow and regret... but also full of hope and dreams. That’s how I viewed the world I wanted to be born into. But—those weren’t the reasons I wanted to be there.

Ping

I heard my phone vibrate, signaling the only reason I’m still alive right now. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see a white ceiling illuminated by the soft glow of moonlight slipping through the glass window beside my bed. I turned my head slightly to the right and saw two IV bags hanging from a stand, connected to my veins, pumping more medication to keep me alive in this life.

I swallowed as the pain in my wrist flared up. The needle embedded in my arm caused numbness and discomfort. I tried to shift my gaze, but the curtain surrounding my bed blocked my view.

I raised my hand slightly to examine it... never mind, I don’t even know if I can describe it. Full of small holes and bruises, worn-out places from all the needles, I slowly extended my bony hand, grabbing my phone from the table. With much effort, I unplugged it from the charger, brought it above my head, and unlocked it.

1:30 PM
Friday
Date: 15/8/2024

"Ah..."

My eyes widened, and a slight smile crept onto my face as I saw the time and date.

"I... slept for more than three days..."

I have an incurable disease—a disease that makes my heart pump less and less blood. Because of it, my body weakens... or at least that’s what they told me. Even they aren’t sure why I’m like this, a frail corpse that has lived no more than... how old am I? 17? My birthday’s somewhere in January... I’ve even forgotten the exact date. Ha...

I rested my head on the soft pillow and swiped up to enter my passcode:

311919

"9...5..." I muttered the last two digits.

I hit enter, unlocking my phone. The lock screen, filled with her image, reflected in my tired eyes.

For context... I was a weird kid. Too weak to go outside, locked in a hospital 24/7 with no visitors except the nurses and sometimes doctors. I dedicated my time to reading. And for the last two years, what I loved most were system-type novels.

The novel followed the actions of the main character named Sunless... or Sunny, as others called him. A boy similar to me, but with a worse start—alone in the slums, parents dead, and his sister already adopted. He encountered his first nightmare. According to the novel and the wiki, a nightmare was the equivalent of the soul being tested to see if it should continue living and become something more... or die, letting the body be consumed by a nightmare seed and turned into an NM, a nightmare creature. What followed was the first semi-arc of the novel, where Sunny fought his first nightmare with hardships and plot twists, eventually waking up to be led to a woman a bit older than him, also from the slums but now feared and respected. She brought him to an academy—where boys and girls like him, who had encountered their first nightmares, were sent to be trained about the place they would soon be sent to... the Dreamland—a realm tied to the spell, the system of the novel. And there... the main character met her—the blind blonde girl with sapphire blue eyes that shined in the dark abyss, fragile but fierce. The girl who would help him... and hurt him the most—Cassie.

I smiled as I saw all the random app icons with her face on them. Was it obsession? Probably. But I liked it. The novel didn’t have illustrations, but I always checked for more and more images of her... or how I imagined she looked.