way to go, tiger | Lorenzo Berkshire

࣪𖤐 Y6 | 10 . Buried secrets

HOW DID IT END? — TAYLOR SWIFT
'One gasp, and then; how did it end?'

As Cassie walks further down the pathway to the (completely frozen) river, she can just about see someone by Cedric's grave. She frowns and furrows her eyebrows with confusion. Nobody ever visits Cedric apart from herself and Victoria. As she advances forward, Cassie gets a closer look.

It's Eddie.

She sighs and makes her way closer, her boots crunching on the thick layer of snow beneath her. Eddie whips his head round, his heart pounding. Cassie half-smiles and puts her hands in her pockets.

"Cassie." he smiles, truly happy to see her. Instead of hugging him, she kneels down by Cedric's headstone and wipes off the veil of snow that covers his name.

"Me and Ced came here every summer of our lives. It's truly beautiful in summer— do you remember?" she asks, her eyes still fixed on the grave.

"Yeah, I do. It's perfect. Definitely where Cedric would've wanted to be buried."

Cassie nods and stands up before looking at Eddie. It's now his turn to blatantly stare at the grave instead of Cassie. She sighs before the next words left her lips; "Y'know, I always thought it was the girls in Cedric's life that made him happy; like Charlotte and Cho. Until I found out everything, I assumed that Chang was the reason Cedric died happy."

Eddie's eyebrows knit together with confusion and dread. He knows exactly what she's getting to. He hates thinking about it nowadays. It makes him feel all too nauseous.

"But it wasn't, was it?" she says, flatly. Eddie bows his head in shame. He doesn't know what to say. He still never told Cassie everything. "It was you," Cassie adds. "You're the reason Cedric died happy. He loved you. But last night, I read your letter and found myself thinking about your relationship again. I realised I never really understood what actually happened between you two. I saw two teenage boys struggling with sexuality and a relationship, but that was as far as it went."

Eddie breathes out, his lungs clearing. He knows what she was saying was true, yet he still has the strongest urge to deny it all. He knows Cassie was there through the whole thing, yet he still wants to cower and hide— he wants to tell her it wasn't true and he's not still upset about it. He's used to doing that, though. Deny, Deny, Deny. That's all he ever does when someone mentions his sexuality.

"I think the worst part about all this is that Cedric didn't feel comfortable enough to tell me the full story. I found myself wondering whether it was my fault that he couldn't open up to me or tell me the truth." Cassie sighs.

"Never, Cassie, you were never the problem. Nobody was. Cedric was just— erm— struggling. He didn't even like saying it to me."

Cassie takes a deep breath. "So do me a favour, Eddie, and tell me what happened between you."

Shortly, Cassie sits down opposite Eddie in the White Hen pub by the river. The very same pub Cassie sat in with her fathers this exact day a year ago. She unwraps her Slytherin scarf from her neck and sets it on the chair, along with her coat and hat. She sighs and places her bloodshot fingertips around her steaming cup of tea.

Eddie sighs before beginning to explain. This is the first time he's ever opened up about what actually happened between him and Cedric, so naturally, he's trembling. "I think I knew I was gay in first year. I remember sitting on the quidditch stands watching the Slytherin team walk out. I thought it was normal to find the boy players attractive— everyone else did, right?" he says. Cassie nods to show she's listening. She meant it when she said she'd always be there for Eddie back in fourth year. "But late on in second year, I started to notice Cedric a lot more. That was the year we became proper friends, before, we were simply acquaintances in a few lessons together. He would talk to me like he understood me, like he could see right through me. I found comfort in talking to him— and silently staring at him across the room."