"I... I like you. A lot," he stammered. "I think you're the most incredible girl I've ever met. You're always on my mind. I know it sounds crazy, but... I think I love you."
Reiner was Blair's first love-the one person who treated her with kindness...
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All I want by Kodaline ~~~ Past: Age 16
It's been about two weeks since Reiner and Bertholdt exposed themselves and escaped from Paradis. I haven't left my room. I've barely slept or eaten, I somehow still managed to shower.
I sit in a chair, staring outside the window at the gray sky. The weather seems to mirror exactly how I feel. Raindrops stream down the window, blurring the view, fogging up the glass.
The door creaks open behind me, footsteps echoing softly across the wood floor.
"Blair." Sasha calls out softly, her voice hesitant.
I don't turn to her, I continue to stare out the window in silence.
Her footsteps come closer, and she pulls a chair next to mine. "I brought you some food." She places a plate down gently on the windowsill in front of me. "Why don't you eat something?"
"No thanks, I'm not really hungry." I mutter, my voice cracking, barely above a whisper.
I can feel her eyes on me as she watches me carefully. There's a heavy silence between us before she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her embrace.
And that's when I finally break. For the first time since Reiner left, I cry. My sobs are jagged, and my body shakes as I cling to her. It feels like hours have passed, my face buried against her chest, my breath comes out desperate, as I gasp between sobs. Sasha doesn't say a word as she just holds me. Rubbing my back and smoothing my hair as she lets me cry.
~~~~
Present: 22
It's been a week since the mission and I've been stuck in my room. Everyone has been ordered to leave me alone so my head can heal with no issues. I haven't seen anyone, including Reiner after our kiss.
But today, I am finally cleared to get back to work.
When I've finally finished getting ready for the day, there's a knock at the door and I walk over to open it. "Oh Armin, come in." I hold the door open, motioning for him to come in. "Sit down."
He walks over to a chair and sits, smiling slightly. "I wanted to be the first to check on you, now that you're back. It's been boring without you."
I roll my eyes playfully as I sit in the chair opposite him. "Please. I'm sure you've been fine. Besides, you've got Annie to keep you company." I smirk.
His face immediately flushes, he gets flustered. "Oh... well yeah, but you know." He stammers, trying to find the right words to say "It—It's not really like that. We haven't talked much."
"Why not?" I nearly shout.
He rubs the back of his neck, a strained grin on his face. "I don't know... I'm not really sure what to say."
"Armin!" I say louder than intended. "What do you mean you don't know what to say? You've been visiting her everyday, talking to her while she was stuck in that crystal."
He dodges my question, shifting the conversation. "Well, what about you and Reiner? You won't even talk to him."
I hesitate, lowering my voice. "We actually kissed yesterday."
His eyes widen in shock. "What!"
"Yeah, but Hange walked in. She didn't see us, but it was still awkward. He left after, so we haven't had a chance to talk since then. I don't even know what I would say to him after that."
Armin leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. "Well, how do you feel about it?"
"I don't know... everything is just so complicated, I keep thinking about the past." I pause, taking a second to sort out my feelings. "But...I still love him."
"Then why don't you just tell him how you feel? Your feelings obviously haven't gone away."
I raise an eyebrow at him. "Just like how you told Annie how you felt?"
He gives me a small smile. "Touché. But what are you so scared of?"
I look down, focusing on the floor as I think. "I don't know. What if he hurts me again? I Can't go through that pain again, Armin."
He watches me for a moment before speaking. "But what if he doesn't? You'll never know unless you give him a chance to prove himself. And for what it's worth, I think your pain hurts him more than it hurts you."
His words hang in the air, and I sit quietly, contemplating.
Armin stands up and heads toward the door, pausing before he leaves. "Look, whatever you decide, I'll support your decision." He gives me a reassuring smile. "But don't let fear of the past stop you from being happy."
I nod silently as he closes the door behind him. I sink back into my chair, staring at the spot where he was sitting, lost in thought.
I've been carrying this heavy weight of the past for so long. But what if it's possible to actually move on and heal from this?
Maybe it's time to talk to Reiner.
~~~ A/N: Last emo chapter I promise...I think.
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