Submission : BDSM Short Stories

Five - Fucking Hurt Me

I always craved pain.

Even as a child I always threw myself into situations where I would hurt myself, at the time I didn't understand that I enjoyed it or that it was wrong. When my mother found out she told me to stop and punished me each time I tried so I learned to hide it better, when I became an adult it gave me a chance to learn about BDSM and masochism and sadism.

After many years of trial and error I found my way to a BDSM club where I have been passing myself from Dom to Dom waiting for them to dominate me and cause me true pain but they always had hard limits to what I wanted. I want to be hurt and marked beyond the superficial marks left from play, I want to be incapacitated and bleeding and scarred. I want to be hurt beyond what I believe my body can take.

I finally meet my match after eight years at the club I bitch to the bartender and security guards each time I walk away from a scene where I feel dissatisfied or was safe worded for when I wasn't ready to finish. The main security guard is a burly old man who was ex military or something, he knew some sick fuckers and after one extremely disappointing night told me one of his friends was looking to hurt someone. He needed to let of a load of steam but wasn't sure how to do it, he usually went boxing but attacking the bag of sand is no longer helping.

I was told a date and time, I sat at the bar sipping a drink. I raised my hand in greeting when I saw Paul and Sabrina walk in, Paul waved then motioned to my drink. I smiled holding up a hand to stop him from offering to buy me a new one, I can't say we're friends but I'm much closer to their age than I am their friends and it's helped us bond a little. Sabrina waves me over, I try to ignore her but she stands up and violently waves her whole body.

"Fine! Fuck!" I snap sliding off the stool with a thunk of heels, I storm over slamming my drink onto the table and staring at her. "What?" I snap.

"You're doing a show?" She clapped her hands excitedly.

"I am?" I shrug. "I have a blind date, he told me to show up today and he'd sort the rest out," I look at this tiny little boy who could be my grandson depending on his age. He was cowering behind Sabrina while I snapped, I instantly felt a wash of guilt and softened my body language. "I'm sorry little one, did I scare you?"

"Oh fuck off I'm paying a part," he spat back at me just as violently as I had. "I need my prey to think I'm this meek little hamster not a biting Guinea pig," I raised my eyebrows at Sabrina who explained he was trying to ruin the reputation of a local, gangster.

"Who? I may know him,"

"Oh you definitely do Amara, he's your baby daddy who you fucked over twenty odd years ago," Paul laughed while I stood up to stretch out my aching back. Amobi Night Anza was the man who got me pregnant, the man who ignited my need for pain, the man who ignited my need to inflict pain.

"She's Lyra Jade's mum?" The little blonde thing looked me up and down. "She looks so young,"

"It's called not having a partner consistently," I notice my ex saunter in the room with the miniature little loan shark who rules his life, even back then she ruled him. "Good luck if you need anything little one just come find me okay? I will always enjoy breaking his glass balloon over his head, some advice, he likes to be degraded but to think he's in charge,"

"Thanks," he hesitated. "Miles,"

"Amara Anza," I wink flicking my braids off my shoulder. "Oh there's my date," I wave to the man looking around blindly, he looks absolutely terrified at the thumping music and the dim lights. I wave as I saunter over, for a woman I have curves in the right places with just enough muscle that it isn't unsafe to be beat there but not enough that I don't feel the blinding pain. It's taken years of trial and error to find this happy medium, I have bright red lace lingerie over my dark skin, it covers everything I need it to but it leaves enough to the imagination that I like it. I dress for myself nobody else, but when the older man looks me up and down with a wolffish expression I feel my vagina flutter.