Shadows of Tomorrow

chapter One: The Weight of What Could Be.

Maria lay in bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, the dim light from her window casting ghostly patterns across the room. Outside, the world hummed on as usual—the distant honk of a car, the muted chatter of people, the wind rustling leaves—but none of it reached her. It was like she was trapped under a heavy blanket of silence, one that suffocated her thoughts and left her gasping for breath.

The future. It was all she could think about, the ever-looming black hole that swallowed her every hope. It wasn’t just failure that terrified her—it was the certainty of it. Maria had always been an overachiever, praised for her intelligence, her wit, and her drive. But now, all of those things seemed like lies, temporary flashes of brilliance in a life doomed to collapse.

In her mind, she could already see it: her career would fail before it even started, her friends would drift away, and one day—maybe not too far off—death would come. What was the point of trying if everything was destined to fall apart? Why fight when the end was inevitable?

The thoughts weighed on her chest like lead, pushing her deeper into the bed. She had been like this for weeks, maybe months, if she was honest. But admitting that meant confronting it, and Maria wasn’t ready to do that. Not yet.

“Maria, are you up?” The voice was her mother’s, muffled through the door. The doorknob rattled slightly as if her mother was testing the waters, unsure if she should come in or leave her daughter alone. “It’s past noon already.”

Maria didn’t respond. She couldn’t. The act of answering felt like too much work, too much effort. What was she supposed to say? That she was terrified of everything? That the thought of getting up, of living, was unbearable?

A minute passed in silence. Then two. Finally, her mother’s footsteps retreated down the hall, and Maria closed her eyes, feeling the guilt pool in her stomach. She knew she was hurting her mother, her friends, her boyfriend Eric. They had all noticed the change in her—how she had stopped replying to texts, started cancelling plans, snapping at them for no reason.

And yet, they couldn’t understand. How could they? None of them seemed to live under this dark cloud like she did. None of them felt this crushing fear of what was to come. Every moment was a countdown to failure or death—two sides of the same terrible coin. It was as though she was running out of time to be the person she wanted to be, and instead of racing toward something, she was sprinting away, arms flailing.

Eric had been patient at first, but she could see the cracks forming. Just last week, they had fought over something trivial—whether or not to go to dinner with his friends. She had snapped at him, accusing him of pushing her into situations she didn’t want to be in. He had looked at her then, a mix of frustration and concern in his eyes, and she knew that she was pushing him away. But she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop herself from being this way.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, breaking the stillness. Maria didn’t need to look to know who it was—it would be Sophie or Lila, her best friends since high school, checking in again. Or Eric, sending another message trying to fix what had been broken between them.

But fixing things felt impossible.

With a sigh, Maria swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, the cold floor beneath her feet jarring her out of her thoughts. She moved to the window and pulled back the curtain, squinting against the afternoon light. The sky was a deep blue, impossibly vast, and for a second, she felt dizzy looking at it. The future stretched out in front of her just like that—wide open, full of possibilities, but also full of uncertainty, fear, and failure.

Maria’s hand gripped the window frame tightly. Was it better to ignore it, to keep living day by day without thinking too far ahead? Or was it better to face it head-on, even if the fear consumed her? She didn’t know.

The familiar knot of anxiety twisted in her chest as she thought about her upcoming exams, the pressures of making it into a top graduate program, and the constant worry that none of it would matter. If she failed, what would happen? If she succeeded, would it even be enough? And beyond that—beyond all of that—what was the point of any of it when death would come eventually? That thought was the darkest of them all, always lurking just beneath the surface.

There was a knock on her door again, softer this time.

“Maria, I’m heading out. I made some lunch if you want to eat.” Her mother’s voice was gentle but filled with worry. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Maria didn’t answer. She waited for the sound of the front door closing before she exhaled deeply. She knew she should care. She knew she should try. But the future felt too heavy, too dark, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it was coming for her, slowly but surely.

For now, all she could do was exist in this space—caught between the weight of her fears and the reality of what she was losing. She was slipping away from the people who loved her, from the life she had once envisioned, but she didn’t know how to stop. The shadows of tomorrow were closing in, and Maria wasn’t sure if she had the strength to fight them off.