Allison's Desire

Chapter Four

I blinked at his words. It felt as though someone poured cold water on me. "you have a girlfriend?" I tried to act like it was no big deal. But the butterflies I felt through out the night died instantly and in its place jealousy, the food suddenly felt like sand in my mouth.

"Yes, she is the most gorgeous person I have met" he said with his eyes lit up.

I smiled, trying to get back into the earlier conversation we had. I was no longer I the mood to eat, so I just picked at my food and forced a laugh every here and there to his story. I was barely listening.

Why did I think he liked me? Few gifts didn't mean anything.

A girl walked Into the restaurant and straight to our table. She was stunning

She had curves in all the right places and long her that stopped just before her waist. She had bright green eyes and looked like every guy's dream. She was that girl.

"Sorry I'm late, I got held up in traffic" she said with a slight bit of a British accent to her words.

"it's fine" Ben said smiling at her. "babe this is Allison, my employee, Allison, this is Emily." The way he said employee made me feel like daggers were shot at my heart.

Did I.. did I like him?

"hello" she said looking me up and down. "it's a bit warm for the turtleneck, don't you think?" she said raising a perfectly arced brow at me.

"Its what she's comfortable with, let her be" even as he just made it clear that he did not see me in a romantic way made my heart flutter a bit.

"very well, I have something to discuss Benjamin" her voice turned from sweet towards him to serious like that..

**

I sat uncomfortable in my chair, as both of them looked very serious. I tried to make myself invincible.

"I love you Ben" she looked like she did not mean It, but then again, it might have been my jealousy ragging.

"and I love you too Em." He readily responded, smiling from ear to ear.

"I just. I don't see is working out." The smile on Ben's face dropped slowly.

"I.. I don't understand".

"I can't be with you. You are just.. you can't make me complete." I felt my heart drop to my stomach at those words. "I need someone who would be able to stand by my side, who would be able to be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on."

He looked genuinely confused and I felt sorry for him. "I do not still get it. I've been there for you. Look, I know I've been a bit overwhelmed with work but I promise, I'll make more time for us." It seemed as though they had forgotten I was still sitting on the table with them

"You cant make this better Ben, the issue isn't work, the issue is your..." she looked to where the legs were "your accident has put a damper on things and I don't think I can cope with this for the rest of my life. Cleaning after you.. its just.. I can't have my life tied down like that" she reached foe her bag and brought out a small jewelry box.

"I am sorry but I can't take this" she said, dropping it on the table and left. It was quiet between us for a while.

"it'll be fine. She missed out on a fine man" I said truthfully hoping he would see my sincerity.

"don't, please don't patronise me" he tried to wheel himself away but he bumped Into the chair behind him. He looked flushed.

"Ben?" I said gathering hiss things he left behind, including the ring and tried to catch up with him as kept going, not slowing down, not even when he bumped Into people's chairs.

"Ben?" I met him at the car, Arnold, his driver helping him Into the car. "don't let what she said get to you" he wasn't listening.

"Who can either get into the car or walk home Allison." Was all he said. I felt as though we were back to the first day at the café. His voice was cold and distant again.

I entered into the car not saying anything.

We drove home in complete silence. This time, an uncomfortable one..

Ben went to his room, shutting the door behind him.

"let him be, he'll cool down soon." Arnold said, leaving me all alone in the living room.

I stood outside the door pacing. I felt like I was meant to do something, at the same time, I felt like I was meant to listen to Arnold.

Soon after, I heard smashing sounds, then it grew quiet.

I figured now was the best time to see him.

I opened the door quietly, to see pieces of broken things on the floor. I expected him to shout but instead, he calmly talked after a long while of me standing there l, waiting for him to give me an approval to enter his personal space.

"You know I never thought of getting married" he started. He said nothing for a while, just sitting there looking into space.

I waited patiently for him to continue, and he did. "slowly, she fed me the idea of how beautiful marriage was. Being with just one person through it all, the good, the bad, the ugly you know. Having one person to call your own forever. I started to feed into the idea" he scoffed. "should have known she was all about crab. And now I have no one, I'm all alone" I could have sworn he shed a tear, but I said nothing about it. I sensed that if I didn't trend carefully, he would close up for good.

"I'm here for you, as long as you want me to be" i tried to sound as honest as I felt.

"Why?"

Because I think I love you. You make me remember to breathe when it's feels like I am drowning and sometimes you make me forget how to breathe.

"because I would like to think we are friends" I said instead. There was no way I was going to confess something like that, ever. I would take that to my grave if I had to. "and friends don't leave each other" I continued like I wasn't having an Internal battle.

"thank you." He said smiling at me.

I walked Inside the room, trying to pick up the broken glass on the floor.

"You don't need to do that" he said coming close to me.

"It's fine" I said still picking up the bigger pieces.

"No seriously I can-" my gasp cut him off as I held the cut finger.

"It's bleeding" he looked panicked.

"it's fine it's just a little cut"

"You never listen!" he yelled, looking at me with fear and anger.

"It's not even that deep" I tried to explain but it didn't seem like he was having it.

"Just leave it, I'll handle it" he said aggressively. I looked at him as I walked out. I knew the anger wasn't directed at me, but it still hurt. It removed the little piece and ran the finger under water. I had done this countless times back home to get used to the pain.

I was too tired to apply any first aid so I slept off. Like that.

It's not like it was a big wound anyways. It was just going to heal with another scar. At this point, new scars weren't even obvious anymore.