Be My Mountain, Be My Melody

Unspoken longing

The room hummed with warmth and laughter, the air thick with the scent of snacks. Bags of chips crinkled as they were opened, blending into a backdrop of soft voices. Dressed in all black—baggy jeans and leather jackets—we settled in. I found myself between San and Jongho, my thoughts drifting as I stole glances around the group. San’s smile was bright, effortlessly engaging, yet I sensed a deeper current beneath it. Jongho munched on chocolate, throwing me knowing looks that made my heart flutter.

Wooyoung was his usual lively self, his long hair falling in messy strands over his eyes as he laughed at something Yunho said. The atmosphere felt relaxed, almost normal, but for me, an undercurrent of unspoken feelings thickened the air.

Somehow, San and I had become inseparable, always side by side. But buried deep within my chest was a truth I hadn’t shared with anyone: I was in love with him.

And San? He was in love, too. Just not with me.

Wooyoung shifted, plopping down beside me, phone in hand. He nudged me, a wide grin on his face, and showed me a picture. "I like her so much," he laughed, pointing to a face that was blurred in my mind. "Isn’t she the best partner?"

A weight settled in my stomach before I even processed it. It wasn’t San in the picture.

"I’m going to marry her," Wooyoung added nonchalantly, his smile unwavering. A knot tightened in my chest, but I forced a smile and pulled him into a side hug, concealing the pain creeping in. "That’s great," I managed, my voice sounding hollow.

I turned slightly, feeling San’s presence beside me, yet his gaze was not on me. It was locked onto Wooyoung, and my breath caught as I witnessed the longing etched on his face. In that moment, clarity washed over me—San was in love with Wooyoung. Just as I was in love with him.

But there was a sadness in his eyes, mirroring the weight I carried. It was as if we both understood, deep down, that our loves would remain unrequited. Trapped in silent despair, we were too afraid to voice our hearts.

I reached out, gently patting San’s thigh. Without a word, he enveloped me in a back hug, his warmth surrounding me. But even as he held me close, his gaze remained fixed on Wooyoung. My heart shattered, a sense of helplessness suffocating me under the weight of unspoken love.

Jongho caught my eye, his expression reflecting quiet understanding. He must have known all along. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye, and I wiped it away quickly, determined to mask the storm brewing within. In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood, I snatched Jongho’s chocolate bar and playfully slapped his arm.

"Don’t look at me like that," I teased, forcing a laugh. "I’m older than you!"

Jongho shot me a glare, but his eyes softened, conveying a silent sympathy that eased the tension. Wooyoung’s laughter rang out, his carefree spirit oblivious to the turmoil inside me.

I dared another glance at San, my heart breaking anew as I caught him looking at Wooyoung with starved eyes, filled with everything he couldn’t voice.

In that moment, it struck me: we were all ensnared in our own silences, bound by feelings we would never confess.