Who's Afraid of Little Old Me

10

It is 3 days later, Monday morning. I am woken by the sound of my alarm. Therapy today. I stretch and grab my phone. I text my best friend back after she tells me how they are doing a reshowing of The Hunger Games. She is a huge Hunger Games fan. We both are. And we are huge Gale haters.

I scroll on my phone for about 30 minutes before finally getting up. I take a quick shower and get dressed. I walk out to the kitchen. The boys are sitting on the couch watching a TV show. Bucky looks at me and quickly looks away. I go and make myself a cup of coffee.

Steve notices me "Oh hey Cass you ready to go" Steve says while standing up from the couch and walking over.

Then Steve speaks again "I have got to do something so Buck is gonna drive you" Steve says. I stop pouring my coffee and turn around slowly.

"What" I say. There is no way I want to be near Bucky.

"Don't even fight me on it Cass because you have no other choice" Steve says.

I wish that I could just drive myself to my therapy appointments. When I would drive myself I would just skip my appointments so now I need an escort to my appointments. This is what I get for thinking I could cheat the system. My therapist dr. Raynor was assigned to me by the government to make sure I won't lose it and have someone to talk to about all the trauma I had endured during those years of my life. I have a love hate relationship with Dr Raynor. Sometimes she is helpful and sometimes she gets on my nerves. One time she told me I couldn't spend a whole session talking about Harry Potter.

Bucky stands up and walks out to the elevator. I guess that means let's go. I grab my coffee and head to the elevator that had just closed.

"Cass be nice" Steve says to me.

I salute to him and smile. The door opens and I step into the elevator.

When I get down to the garage Bucky is already sitting in the driver seat of the car. MY car by the way. I never even gave him my keys so what the hell.

I open the passenger door and get it "I never said you could drive my car" I say as I put my seatbelt on. I don't trust his driving.

Bucky puts the car in reverse "Steve said I could" Bucky says as he backs the car out of the garage.

I scoff "Yeah but I didn't say you could" I say to Bucky and roll my eyes.

"What is your problem with me ever since I got here you have been against me" Bucky says angrily at me. He stares straight at the road.

"Dude you killed my mother right in front of me do you even remember that"

"Of course I remember" Bucky says with a sad face

"Dont act like you are sorry about any of the things you did every chance you get you are rude to me"

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up brat I would be nicer to you"

"Maybe if you weren't a homicidal psychopath I would be nice to you"

"Oh, so I'm the homicidal psychopath? Are you going to pretend that you have never killed anyone? If I remember correctly your hands aren't very clean either"

"You know what you are one of the most self-centered people I have ever met news flash not everything about you and I wish nothing but the worst for you"

Bucky looks at me like he just got a slap in the face. He stays silent and doesn't speak. When we arrive as soon as the car stops I get out and slam the door behind me. I walk in and am greeted by the receptionist. She tells me Dr. Raynor is waiting for me.

I walk into the room and sit down. Raynor is sitting on the other side of a coffee table in front of me.

I sit down upset and angry. Raynor notices the expressions on my face are tense and upset.

"Cass did something happen recently" Dr. Raynor asks me. She is staring directly at me with her legs crossed. I am staring at the floor still upset over what just happened. This shouldn't be affecting me so much but it is.

We sit in silence. Dr. Raynor waiting for my response and for a second I forget to talk. I speak finally "Nope" is all I say. I know she will call my bullshit but she can't force me to speak to her if I don't want to. I keep looking at the floor trying to capture a hold of all my thoughts.

"I know something happened so what was it Cass" Raynor says to me.

You know what I need to complain right now.

"There is this new avenger and he is the worst person I have ever met"

"What did he do to you Cass"

"He killed my mom and so much more stuff overall he is a bad person and I don't want anything to do with him and I wish to never see him again"

"How exactly does he make you feel"

"He makes me upset and angry. He makes me want to do bad things"

"How do you think you make him feel"

I pause for a second "How do you think you make him feel". The question lingers in my head. I have never thought about that. But now that I am thinking about my mind is unclear. I think for a minute as my mind scatters itself trying to come up with an answer.

"Bad" I say pausing before continuing my answer "I make him feel bad. I make him feel like he is a horrible person. But he is a horrible person. He murdered innocent people and for what"

Dr. Raynor takes in my answer "If he killed innocent people why is he not in prison" she asks me

"It wasn't under his control" I say to her while looking down a while playing with my hands.

"So he was controlled by people to kill" Raynor says to me watching my actions closely.

"Yes" I say.

"Kind of like you" Raynor says watching my body language change.

"Yes doctor" I say shifting in my seat.

"Cass remember when you first became free and had to work hard to get control over your mind again" Raynor says to me.

"Yes" I say. I already know where she is going with this.

"Imagine how it is for him and imagine how much harder you may be making it for him to heal and take control of himself. Cass, you can't blame someone for something they had no control over"

I stay silent

We talk about some more stuff before our time is over. I walk over to the building and wait for Bucky. He isn't here. He is supposed to be here by now. Steve would have told him what time to get me.

10 minutes go by, no bucky.

20 minutes go by, no bucky.

30 minutes go by, no bucky.

Before I know it an hour goes by. What the hell? Where is this dude? My phone is about to die and I doubt Bucky is coming so I call my dad to pick me up.

Dad doesn't answer the phone the first few times I call him. After about 6 times he finally answers.

"What do you want kid I'm busy"

"Bucky never came to get me and I'm stranded"

"I'll be there in 5"

The drive is like 15 minutes but Dad likes to speed just a tiny bit. Somehow he always gets out of tickets.

After 5 minutes Dad pulls up by the curb I am standing at. I open the door and get in.