Faking Amends (BadLuckBrides series #2)

7

Cassie

I'm really going through with this. Marriage.

I almost never thought I'd get the opportunity, and really I'm just trying to be grateful for that. I mean, we all know Chase was a dead end. He was never going to marry me. We would have never moved forward. Our relationship has felt like a repeat of the same year four times.

Maybe this is me moving forward. I mean, I'm doing something new. It may not be permanent, or even real, but I'm doing something different than the norm and that has to count for something.

"Ow," I mutter after my shoulder's bumped for the tenth time since I left the house.

I've been on the hunt for jobs the past week and it's been hard. The worst part being the fact that I won't make nearly as much money as I did at my last job, nor do I have any skills or qualifications to get myself another gig doing anything different.

I stop in the midst of people pushing past me just for a moment, taking all the traffic in as the bodies scramble around mine.

I feel small.

I still feel different, even if I do look the same as everyone else. Even if I do blend in with herd.

In a city like this, do I even matter?

My eyes pan in on a McDonald's across the street. A huge Now Hiring sticker in the window. For a second my feet itch to take me there, but no. That'll be last resort if anything.

I hate working fast food. I'd rather marry Ivan twice than go back to stinky salty uniforms and disrespectful customers.

I begin walking again, dodging people too inattentive to watch where they're walking because they're on their phones. All the swinging briefcases threatening to take out my knees, and the same homeless panhandler's who ask me for money every single day.

Funny, that same morning before I ran into Ivan, I walked past the same homeless man and had a fleeting thought that I may be out here with him, and it terrified me.

With five single dollar bills in hand, I set the money in the old grey man's palm, nodding at his mumbled, 'God bless' as I continue down the overcrowded walkway.

I hike down the stairs to the subway. The deep pang in my stomach almost crippling me as I rush toward the open car.

"Quiet, stomach..." I hold my belly as I enter and take a seat. I've been...fasting lately, but I have high hopes that a job will fall into my lap. Fingers crossed.

Until then, I'll be surviving off the money Ivan threw me until this deal is all said and done. Until he dusts his hands of me.

The more the idea of this wedding sets in my head, the more I think maybe it wouldn't be all that bad.

I mean, I am benefiting from it in more ways than one.

Once I looked past the fact that I'm engaged to my bully and he doesn't even care enough about me enough to remember who I am, it's not that big of a deal.

It's a job and Ivan's been professional, if nothing else. I mean, definitely not pleasant to be around, but also not an eye sore.

More like eye candy...

Who am I kidding?

Ivan's a hot daddy who barks orders and asserts his dominance with just his stare alone. A stare that I'm sure brought a lot of women to their knees without even thinking twice about it.

And I'm marrying him in just a few weeks.

The beautiful ring I keep spinning around my finger in disbelief is proof of that.