Buddie Fics

weakness echoes in my soul

***

You think being a cheerleader is weak?

Eddie hadn't even thought about the words before they left his mouth - they just came out. And suddenly, he was a fourteen year old boy again staring at a stack of flyers on a bulletin board in his high school with enough yearning and fear in his heart to make it combust. 

Drama Club presents: Rent. Tryouts Friday. Memorial Theater 4pm. Scripts available in the senior hallway. 

Tryouts Friday. Practice football field 4pm. Helmets and pads provided. 

He stayed up all night Thursday reciting lines in the mirror. When he finally crashed well past midnight, he felt confident, comfortable taking on a role of something far beyond himself. 

He floated through the day with optimism, pouring over the small pieces of dialogue he was to read. When the final bell rang at 3:00, he practically sprinted toward the theater to wait. 

Until he ran smack into his father on the way. 

"You left these at home," said Ramon, holding up a worn looking set of cleats and pads.

Eddie gave him a quizical look. He hadn't mentioned either of the tryouts to his father, and he certainly hadn't planned on having a heart to heart with him about the rest of his high school career. Yet here they were. 

"Football tryouts? You didn't really think I'd let my only son pass up the opportunity to play the great American sport? It's not like you have anything better to do."

Eddie gripped the script in his hands tightly, but it was too late. Ramon had taken it from him. He watched his father scan the page, reading the details at the top. 

"Is this some kind of joke?" Ramon asked, voice lowering in that way that signalled an ass chewing on Eddie's behalf. "This is why you didn't mention football tryouts, huh? Men do not act, Edmundo. They're tough. They fight. No son of mine will be caught dead on a stage." 

He couldn't help it. After trying his whole life to build an impenetrable barrier around his emotions, he still couldn't keep the pain of Ramon's words from slicing him open. Tears welled in his eyes, but he didn't dare let them fall. 

"You will go to the football field. And if I'd better not see you with another one of these," Ramon held up the script. "Do you understand me?"

Eddie ducked his head. 

"Yes, sir," he mumbled. 

"What was that?"

"I said yes, sir." 

Ramon thrust the football gear at him and left without another word. 

Eddie couldn't even walk past the theater after that. He attended every football practice. Never missed a session in the weight room. He went so far as to lead the team to a regional championship. 

His father radiated with pride at the games that he bothered to show up to. He boasted at work that his son was the team's all-star, going so far as to claim that he was the county's next Mr. Football. 

It every so slightly eased Eddie's mind that he appeased his father enough. He once again slipped by without catching the strays of Ramon's generational rage. 

Yet what his father would never understand is that, while he saved his reputation from being a man with a theatrical son, he couldn't stop what would happen to Eddie during his prized football career.