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(POWERING DOWN)
(SIGHS)
Alexei: You should've brought the Avengers' superjet.
Yelena: I swear, if I hear one more word from him, I will kick him in the face.
"Same."
"But you can't-"
"I said same."
Ania: (SOFTLY) He's the worst.
Alexei: Ania. Ania. Ania. Come here, I want to ask you something. Come, it's important.
Ania: What?
Alexei: Did he talk to you about me?
Ania: What?
Alexei: Did he talk to you about me? You know, trading war stories?
Natasha: Who? What are you talking about?
Alexei: Captain America. My great adversary in this theater of geopolitical conflict. Not so much a nemesis. More like a contemporary, you know? Coequal. I always thought there was a great deal of mutual respect...
Ania: Wait. You haven't seen either one of us in 20 years and you're gonna ask me about you?
"I didn't even meet him..?"
"No you didn't, but he was supposed to be your nemesis... Who knows."
Alexei: What is with this tension? Did I do something wrong?
Everyone looks at the screen in disbelief.
"You did everything wrong!"
"Yeah he did!"
Yelena: Is that a serious question?
Alexei: I only ever loved you girls. I did my best to make sure you would succeed to achieve your fullest potential, and everything worked out.
Ania: Everything worked out?
Alexei: Yes. For you, yes. We accomplished our mission in Ohio. Yelena, you went on to become the greatest child assassin the world has ever known. No one can match your efficiency, your ruthlessness. And Ania, not just a spy, not just toppling regimes, destroying empires from within, but an Avenger. You both have killed so many people. Your ledgers must be dripping, just gushing red. I couldn't be more proud of you.
(Ania SCOFFS)
Yelena: Okay. You can... No. Let go of me now. You smell really bad.
Everyone chuckles
Yelena: So, are we there yet?
Alexei: You'll know when we're there.
(SNORTING)
(PIGS SNORTING)
Melina: Slight right. Straight on. Right. Slight right. Oh, very good, my darling.
