Tangled Shadows [COMPLETE]

chapter 9.

Eliana's pov-

I went out of his room, struggling to collect myself. Rest of the he was looking at me, his gaze was fixed at me, as if he was completing the THING we were doing a while ago. I didn't look at him, perhaps I was to embarassed.

I reached my house, Kian and I didn't share any word except for the good-bye.
I took a cold bath, but all I was feeling was his touch, everytime the cold water touch my skin. His warm breath. His touch, his lips on my lips and all over my neck. I felt collywobbles. And I don't know when my hands started to squeeze my boobies, I was lost. One of hand started to go down. I started to rub my clit, fantasizing Kian and unknowingly a moaned...... His goddamn name....

"Tell me what you want eliana... I want this, I want you.... Good, because I'm not going anywhere, never."

I recall. I encircle my entrance, just the he was doing, and slide my fingers inside, i could feel my juice all over my thighs, even tho I was under the shower. I was so lost, moaning... I become a total mess and come.. taking his name for the last time.

I clean myself and wore a bathrobe and went out sat and lay on my bed. Picking one of my mother's diary, it was because i just wanted to distract myself from him... That asshole.

_____________________________

Dear diary,

December 28, 2003

I can’t get the image out of my mind—Jonathan, with her. I wish I could convince myself that it wasn’t what it looked like, but the doubt is eating me alive. Has he fallen out of love with me, or was I just blind to what was happening all along? The way he used to look at me, hold me—it’s been so long since I felt that warmth. I thought we could withstand anything, but now I don’t know if there’s anything left between us. Does he still love me, or am I just clinging to a memory that no longer exists?

Augusta

"I fucking knew it, he is a scoundrel. Leave him mom, leave him" i whispered to myself.

I turned over another page

_______________________________

Dear diary,

December 30, 2003

I never imagined this day would come. Jonathan stood before me, eyes as cold and unfeeling as they’ve always been, but this time, there was something different. His voice, usually measured and confident, carried a hint of irritation. He barely looked me in the eye as he spoke, as if his admission was an inconvenience, like a formality, something he could no longer keep to himself.

He told me, bluntly, as if he were delivering a mundane fact, like he was stating the weather forecast. He’s been seeing someone else. He didn’t say her name. Perhaps he thought it wouldn’t matter. And then, as if I hadn’t already been shattered, he told me she was pregnant.

Pregnant.

The word echoed through my mind, wrapping itself around my thoughts like a suffocating fog. My breath caught in my chest, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. I wanted to scream, to cry, to demand how he could do this to me—how he could betray our family, our history, me. But the words caught in my throat, swallowed up by the overwhelming numbness spreading through my veins.

Jonathan watched me, waiting, as if expecting some reaction, some outburst of anger. Maybe he even hoped I’d beg him to stay. But I couldn’t give him that satisfaction. Instead, I bit down the bitterness rising in my throat and met his gaze. I saw no remorse, no regret, just that same distant coldness that once seemed mysterious but now feels like a knife to my chest.

I whispered, barely able to keep my voice from breaking, “How long?”

He shrugged, shrugged, as if we were discussing an insignificant detail, as if he hadn’t just torn my world apart. “It doesn’t matter.”

But it did. It mattered more than he could ever know. Because every lie, every secret kiss he shared with her, was a knife in my back. Every smile he gave her was a piece of himself he took from me. And now, he’s taken our future, twisted it into something unrecognizable, something cruel.

I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know how to survive this. But I know that this betrayal will never leave me. It will become part of me, a scar that never quite fades, that aches in the quiet moments when I remember what we once were, before I knew what he was capable of. Before I knew he could look at me with such emptiness and still pretend to call it love.

Tonight, I’ll cry, alone in the dark where he can’t see my tears. But I won’t let him see me break. Not now, not ever.

-Augusta

_______________________

"Shitt! I screamed not to loudly, where is the baby? Did they keep the baby? Who was that woman? Is he still seeing her? God!!" I started to question myself.
But before I could turn to the next page, my phone pinged, when I check it was a text from an unknown number. Says-
"Did you touch yourself? While moaning my name... Too bad!! You should've asked me instead." It's him. I don't want to take his name. But wait how did he know? Did he just assume? I stare at my phone's screen for a while before turning it off. I didn't bother to reply him. Than once again i received a text from him. "Don't ignore my texts, honeybee." He's getting into my nerves now. "Don't ever text me kian, i hate you..." I replied and turn my phone off.
I was to confused by so many questions.
It was already 3 am, so i thought to sleep. Still thinking about how he know that I was pleasing myself.