Every part of me

FRAUD

I am a fraud to my partner
for letting him believe
I could love him
more than I love myself.

I am a fraud to my coworkers
for letting them think
I am intelligent.
when most days
I'm just guessing loudly
and hoping it sounds like certainty.

I am a fraud to my sister
for letting her believe
I am more beautiful.
when I've spent years
measuring myself
against her reflection.

I am a fraud to my parents
for pretending I don't care
what they think—
for pretending I don't ache
to be wanted the way I was
before I became disappointing.

I am a fraud to my friends
for letting them call me strong
when I am only good
at not collapsing in public.

I am a fraud to my enemies
and the people I lost
for acting indifferent,
for letting them believe
I've moved on,
while I cry myself to sleep
hoping I still cross their minds.

I am a fraud to my readers,
to those who watch me,
for letting them think I'm talented
instead of just desperate
to be seen as something worth keeping.

I am a fraud to everyone
for pretending I don't love,
for pretending I don't feel,
for pretending I don't break
every time someone else does.

I am a fraud
because I have made a life
out of convincing people
I am less needy,
less fragile,
less human
than I really am.

I am a fraud