Some Things Are Worse Than Death

Chapter Twenty Three

A/N: Still Season Nine, Episode Eighteen. I'm still mourning and not in the mood for TV right now. I'm cheering myself up with a bit of light smut

Yes, all of the information from Spencer's rambling is real. I would also like to add that it takes seven to ten days for milk to dry up if you never breastfed

Y/n's POV

Emory's funeral came and went way too fast for my liking, and so did Diana's visit. Her being here was the only thing keeping Spencer and I from going for each other's throats. That week was almost entirely a blur. For weeks we'd been screaming at each other. One fight got so bad that our neighbors called the cops. Nothing was ever thrown, not even fists or pillows, only words. We fell into a tandem with our visits to the NICU. I would go the first half of the day and Spencer would go the second half. At night after visiting hours were over is when we would fight. Derek started staying over a lot, and when he couldn't Penelope would try to. Some nights they would both stay over. We were just so angry with each other. I blamed him for me falling down the stairs and having to deliver so early. Spencer blamed me giving up on Emory so soon. We wouldn't even be living together if not for the fact neither of us could handle taking care of three babies on our own. Derek and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some TV show I couldn't bother to pay attention to. I had my head on his chest while I curled into his side and he has his arm around me. My c-section incision was more of a scar at this point, and I was slowly losing the belly. My uterus had stopped bleeding two weeks ago, and had shrunk back to its normal size at some point. Still, I had weight to lose at some point when I had the mental capacity. It was easier to cuddle now than it had been in a long time. Derek's warm hands were rubbing up and down my shin, and it was so relaxing. My eyes closed, and Derek lowered the volume. The world around me was beginning to meld with what I was sure would be my dream for the night. I could hear Spencer's key in the door, but I didn't really care right now. I could hear Penelope attempting to crack jokes with him, I guess they were both staying the night tonight. A slight chill from outside drifts in, making me shiver and curl further into my big brother. "So, you love me, huh?" Spencer snaps at me. Derek pulls me closer, "It's not like that and you know it." I slowly open my eyes, the light from the fake fireplace casting an orange glow over Spencer's angry face and Penelope's unsure one. She has her hand on Spencer's shoulder as she tries to get him to stop. "Oh, then what is it then? I don't know of any siblings that act like this," Spencer pushes, pulling away from Penelope. "Oh, my god. Is that what this is about? Is that what all of this has been about?" I ask, no longer feeling tired. "What the hell are you talking about, Y/n?" He deflects, taking a step back. "Oh my god, you're jealous of their relationship," Penelope gasps quietly, looking between the three of us. "What? No, I'm not," Spencer tries to act surprised, but his slightly higher pitch gave him away. "That's fucked up, man. You know she's my baby sister, and you know for a damn fact I would never do that to either of you," Derek was truly hurt, and so was I. Penelope closed the door finally, not really sure what was about to happen. "Wouldn't do that? You already have," Spencer started letting out all of his hurt. "No, he hasn't," Penelope grabs everyone's attention as she looks up from her phone and points towards the TV, "I'm sorry, guys, I know this is an invasion of privacy, but we gotta end this." Mine and Derek's texts were displayed on the screen as Penny scrolls through them.

I don't understand why he hates me so much, Der

Baby sis, I don't think it has anything to do with you.

He's got his own issues he's gotta figure out. Spencerknows you love him

I hope you're right

Have I ever steered you wrong?

Only when you drove that Go Kart into the wall