Consume Me Whole

Love as Devouring

The night air was thick with unspoken words as Monty and Winston lay on the roof, staring up at a sky splattered with stars. The cool breeze wrapped around them like a comforting blanket, but Monty felt the weight of his fears pressing heavily on his chest. He turned his head to glance at Winston, who was tracing patterns in the air with his fingers, seemingly lost in thought.

"Winston," Monty started, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it too loudly would shatter the fragile moment. "I need to tell you something."

Winston turned his attention to Monty, his eyes sharp and attentive, ready to listen. "What is it?"

Monty took a deep breath, feeling the familiar knot of anxiety twist in his stomach. "I've been having these dreams... about you. About us." He hesitated, the words tangled in his throat. "They're not... normal dreams."

Winston remained quiet, encouraging him with a nod.

"They're violent," Monty finally admitted, the words spilling out like a confession. "In them, I'm... I'm eating you. Piece by piece." He swallowed hard, the shame clawing at him. "It feels real, and when I wake up, I'm terrified. I don't want to hurt you."

Winston's expression didn't falter; he listened with an openness that both comforted and unsettled Monty. "What do you think it means?" he asked gently.

"I don't know," Monty replied, frustration creeping into his voice. "Maybe it means that I'm going to ruin everything, that my love is just going to... devour you. Like my father did."

Winston shifted closer, his warmth radiating in the cool night air. "Monty, love doesn't have to be like that. Maybe it's not about devouring each other at all. Maybe it's about sharing the same hunger."

Monty frowned, the words hanging in the air between them like a lifeline he wasn't sure how to grasp. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it," Winston continued, his voice steady and soothing. "When you love someone, you don't have to consume them. You can acknowledge your hunger and find ways to feed each other without taking everything away."

Monty felt a flicker of understanding, but it was clouded by doubt. "But what if I can't? What if I'm just... fucked up and broken?"

Winston took a moment, his gaze locked onto Monty's. "You're not broken, Monty. You're healing. And it's okay to be scared. But we can navigate this together. I want to share that hunger with you, not take from you."

A wave of warmth washed over Monty, the idea that love could be collaborative instead of destructive resonating deeply within him. It was a stark contrast to the way he had always viewed affection-as something that demanded everything, leaving nothing behind.

As Monty pondered Winston's words, he felt an urge to act on that realization, to solidify the connection between them. Slowly, he reached for Winston's wrist, where scars still lingered, reminders of past battles fought in silence.

"Can I?" Monty asked, his voice a fragile thread.

Winston nodded, a soft smile breaking across his face. "Always."

Monty leaned forward, pressing gentle kisses to the delicate skin of Winston's wrists, reverently tracing each scar as if he were honoring a story untold. With each kiss, he whispered unspoken promises: I won't destroy you. I'll love you the way you need to be loved.

In that moment, Monty felt a profound shift within himself, the burden of fear lifting just a fraction. He understood that love could be a sanctuary, a place where they could share their hunger without the fear of losing themselves.

Winston pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Monty's shoulders, grounding him in the reality of their connection. "I'm not going anywhere," he murmured, his breath warm against Monty's ear. "You can't ruin me, Monty. I choose this. I choose you."

Monty closed his eyes, the warmth of Winston's embrace washing over him like a balm. "I choose you too," he whispered, feeling the weight of his fears begin to shift. Maybe love didn't have to be devouring. Maybe, for the first time, it could be about sharing the same hunger, creating a bond that fed them both.

As they lay together, entwined under the stars, Monty felt hope flickering within him, a small flame igniting in the darkness. He wasn't just healing; he was learning to love, to embrace vulnerability, and to share in the complexities of desire without fear of losing himself in the process.