Fortuitous {WLW}

Chapter Thirty-One: New Beginnings

Saylor's POV: 🔞NSFW Warning🔞

I look at my phone, it being eerily quiet since I told Hadley how I really feel about her and Kyle.

It's been about a week and not a single word. I thought it would make me happy or give me some type of relief, but it has done quite the opposite.

My anxiety has come in waves, the guilt as well. Not all moments do I feel it, but that moment when Emerson falls asleep and the cabin goes quiet and still, my mind tortures me. 

It makes me second guess telling her the truth, if I had completely fucked up our friendship and I still find myself wondering if I'm okay if I did.

I constantly ask myself if I'm okay if that was our last interaction as friends and it just doesn't sit right with me. If that was going to be the end, I should have said more, told her everything I felt and not held back but then that look in her face... that sad and broken look in her eyes plays like a loop.

Despite everything... I worry about her. I shouldn't feel so bad... I know that.... but I do.

I also wonder if maybe Peyton finally got to her, convinced her something was there and the two are hatching a plan to ruin Emerson and I or if Hadley had eloped with Kyle in some random state in spite of what I said.

There's a lot of questions I have and I don't get a lot of response.

Ophelia has been busy with her kids and said she hasn't really seen any of the other girls beside Melanie. Chloe doesn't really respond and there's no way I'm asking Peyton if she's heard from Hadley.

I sigh as I check my phone to see the time - 9 pm. I was supposed to be at Emerson's an hour ago.

Emerson spent the day with Tate, my dad, and Cole, moving her into her new apartment. I was supposed to be there to help her unpack the apartment and I got a little too distracted by my work but I know she'd understand, she's a little too understanding.

Emerson has been a saint this last week, keeping me from worrying and honestly, making every moment much easier on me. It's almost unfair, how much shit I put her through.

It's got to be hard... to be in a relationship with an overthinker that desperately craves self-sabotage. Talking me off the edge must be exhausting and tiring... I don't know how she does it and I love her for it, but I feel so guilty about it.

I know she said she wanted me and this... but I don't know if she'd feel the same way if she could go back in time, knowing what she knows now and seeing just how hard it is to actually be with me, if she'd make the same decision. She'd probably run and hide, but instead... I trapped her in my mess.

I gather my things, the office dim other than the light emitting in mine because I've gotten a bit behind.

I open the door, hearing and feeling a loud clash in the process.

I close my door slightly to see what caused the commotion, only to see a cleaning cart behind it and a short and frazzled woman pushing it, "I'm so sorry."

I shake my head, "it's no problem."

"I should have been paying better attention." She says, sounding disappointed in herself as she begins to reach down to collect the cleaning products that fell.

"Don't beat yourself up. I wasn't paying attention either." I explain as I follow suit in gathering her things and my eyes begin to take her in.

Even under the dimmed lights, I see a strong resemblance to Mia. Her brunette curls in a messy bun, dark tan skin, and dark brown eyes scanning the floor.