Chapter 8: The Calm Before
The days following the confrontation with the Syndicate passed in a haze. L’Manberg was a flurry of activity, with everyone preparing for the inevitable battle. Blacksmiths hammered out new weapons, soldiers sharpened their blades, and messengers rushed in and out of the city, delivering orders and gathering intelligence.
Tommy, however, felt detached from it all. Despite being involved in every strategy meeting, despite running drills with the others, his mind kept drifting back to the forest. Back to the moment he and Tubbo had shared, the weight of what hadn’t been said pressing heavily on him.
As the tension around him rose, the distance between him and Tubbo seemed to grow wider. Tubbo had thrown himself fully into his role as leader, staying up late in his office, meeting with military commanders, and discussing plans with advisors. His time with Tommy had become more fleeting, more professional. And while Tommy could understand it—Tubbo had an entire nation to protect, after all—he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was slipping away from them.
On the evening of the third day, the sky was clear and still, a stark contrast to the storm looming over L’Manberg. Tommy found himself wandering the city, his footsteps carrying him to the walls once again. The air was crisp, and the faint sound of hammering echoed in the distance as the last of the defenses were being prepared.
He climbed the stairs to the top of the wall, his eyes scanning the horizon for any signs of the enemy. The Syndicate’s camp was quiet, but Tommy knew it was only a matter of time before that changed.
"Can’t sleep either?"
The voice startled him, and Tommy turned to see Tubbo standing a few feet away, his silhouette framed by the pale moonlight. He looked exhausted—dark circles under his eyes, his posture tense. But there was a softness in his expression, the kind of vulnerability Tommy had rarely seen since Tubbo had taken on the burden of leadership.
"Guess not," Tommy muttered, turning back to the horizon. "Too much on my mind."
Tubbo walked up beside him, leaning on the wall and staring out at the dark expanse before them. For a moment, neither of them said anything. The silence between them felt heavy, charged with everything they had left unsaid since that night in the forest.
"You’re thinking about the Syndicate, aren’t you?" Tubbo asked quietly.
"Yeah. That, and…" Tommy trailed off, unsure of how to continue. His thoughts were a mess—a tangle of fear for L’Manberg, anger at the Syndicate, and something else, something deeper that he wasn’t ready to name.
Tubbo didn’t push. Instead, he let out a long sigh, his breath visible in the cold night air. "I’ve been thinking too. About what’s coming."
Tommy glanced at him, the faint moonlight casting shadows on Tubbo’s face. There was something different in his tone tonight, a vulnerability that he rarely allowed himself to show. Tommy had seen this side of him before, but only when it was just the two of them, away from the weight of expectations and responsibilities.
"You don’t have to do this alone, you know," Tommy said, his voice quiet but firm. "We’re all here. I’m here."
Tubbo smiled faintly, but there was a sadness in it. "I know you are. But I can’t help feeling like… like it’s all on me. If I make the wrong decision, if something goes wrong… it’s my fault."
Tommy’s chest tightened at the words. He had always known Tubbo carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but hearing him say it out loud—hearing the doubt in his voice—made it all too real.
"You’re not alone, Tubbo," Tommy said, more insistently this time. "You don’t have to take all of this on yourself. We’re in this together. Me and you. We always have been."
For a moment, Tubbo didn’t respond. He just stared out at the horizon, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he turned to face Tommy, his eyes filled with something raw, something vulnerable.
"Tommy…" Tubbo began, his voice barely above a whisper, "I’m scared."
The admission hung in the air between them, heavy with unspoken emotions. Tubbo rarely let himself be vulnerable like this, especially not now, when so many people were relying on him. But here, in the quiet of the night, with just Tommy by his side, he allowed the cracks to show.
Tommy swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. "I know," he said softly. "I am too."
And it was true. As much as Tommy wanted to be strong, to act like none of this was getting to him, the truth was that he was terrified. Not just of the Syndicate, or the war, but of losing Tubbo. Of what could happen if the lines they were drawing around themselves grew too thick to cross.
Tubbo stepped closer, his gaze locking with Tommy’s. "You said you can’t lose me," he whispered, echoing the words Tommy had spoken in the forest. "But I can’t lose you either."
Tommy’s breath hitched. There it was—the truth, laid bare between them. The fear they both shared, the feelings they had been too afraid to voice. Tommy could feel the weight of it, the gravity pulling them closer together, but at the same time, he felt the fear of what it all meant.
The distance between them had been shrinking ever since that night, and now it felt like there was nothing left but to take the final step.
"I don’t know what we’re doing," Tommy muttered, his voice shaky, his emotions bubbling to the surface. "I don’t know how to handle this. Us."
Tubbo’s gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight of everything else seemed to fade away. It was just the two of them—Tommy and Tubbo, the same as they had always been. But something had changed. The storm was still on the horizon, but right now, they stood on the edge of something new, something they couldn’t ignore any longer.
"We’ll figure it out," Tubbo whispered, his voice soft but sure. "Together."
And in that moment, standing on the walls of their city with the world threatening to tear them apart, Tommy believed him.
Whatever happened next—whether it was war, peace, or something in between—they would face it together. And maybe, just maybe, they would finally find the courage to face the feelings that had been brewing between them for so long.
As they stood side by side, watching the quiet night stretch out before them, Tommy knew one thing for certain:
He would fight for L’Manberg. He would fight for Tubbo. And no matter what, he would never let them fall apart.
Not when they had come so far.
Not when they had so much left to say.
