Whispers in the Midst of Chasms

22

Kaiden's face lit up at the suggestion. "Can we play tag? I want to run around!" Sasagot na sana ako ng makita ko kung kanino ito nakikipag-usap, nasa tabi ko na si Keous na nakatayo. Nag alinlangan pa ito noong una pero nakita niyang naghihintay si Kaiden ng sagot kalaunan ay pumayag nadin ito.

 As Kaiden ran over, his eyes sparkling with excitement, I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at the ease with which he connected with Keous.

"Superman! Come on, let's race!" Kaiden called out, his voice full of excitement.

"Alright, I'm in!" Keous replied, his tone light and playful. He jogged over to the starting line, kneeling down beside Kaiden.

"I bet you can't beat me!" Kaiden teased, his competitive spirit shining through.

Keous chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. "Oh, I don't know about that. I've got some pretty good moves."

Kaiden wiggled in anticipation, clearly loving the attention. "On the count of three! One... two... three!"

They both took off, Kaiden sprinting with all his might. I held my breath, watching them compete in a carefree moment that felt all too rare. Keous easily kept pace, occasionally glancing at Kaiden and encouraging him with shouts of "You got this!" 

Habang tumatakbo sila papuntang finishline ay hindi ko maiwasan mapansin ang mga tingin ng ibang magulang, ang iba ay naka taas ang kilay at ang iba naman ay nakangiti. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko hindi dahil sa kaba, kundi dahil sa sayang naramdam ko para saking anak.

Nang makatawid sila ng Finishline ay natisod si Kaiden pero agad naman nahawakan ni keous ang laylayan ng damit nito "Whoa there, Superman! No falling on my watch!" he teased, lifting , Kaiden up with a laugh, Pati ako ay natawa sa reaksyon ni Kaiden.

"Did you see that? I almost won!" he said, panting from the exertion.

"You did great! But next time, you gotta watch your feet," Keous responded, ruffling Kaiden's hair.

Kaiden's grin widened. "Can we race again?"

"Of course! But first, let's grab some juice," Keous suggested, and Kaiden nodded eagerly.

Nang papunta na sila sa kinauupuan ko ay nakaramdam nanaman ako ng lamig sa buong katawan ko. Parang isang normal na mag-ama lang sila kung titignan,  I couldn't help but feel a mix of longing and sadness. I wondered what it would have been like if things had been different, if Keous had been in Kaiden's life from the start.

As I approached the refreshment area, I noticed other parents glancing over, their expressions curious. I could only imagine what they were thinking—here was a man I had once been close to, seemingly taking on a fatherly role for my son.

"Kaiden!" I called, trying to sound cheerful. "How about we get some snacks before you race again?"

Kaiden turned around, his eyes bright. "Okay! Can we get ice cream?"

"Let's see if they have any," I replied, forcing a smile despite the brewing tension.

Keous looked at me, a glimmer of something in his eyes—a mixture of understanding and apprehension. "I'll grab some juice for him," he offered, moving to help.

"Thanks," I said, the word slipping out before I could reconsider.

As we stood there, watching Kaiden joyfully bounce between activities, I felt the weight of the moment settle over us like a heavy blanket. It was a surreal blend of past and present, a bittersweet reminder of everything left unspoken. I wanted to cherish this moment for Kaiden's sake, yet the complexity of my feelings was almost too much to bear.

Then, as if sensing the shift in atmosphere, Kaiden called out, "Superman, come on! Let's do the ring toss next!"

Keous chuckled and replied, "I'm coming, bud!"

And just like that, the innocence of childhood took over, leaving the adult complications momentarily behind. I watched as they headed off together, feeling both grateful for this unexpected bond and fearful of the implications it brought. The line between past and present was blurring, and I wasn't sure how to navigate the path ahead.

"Here you go," he said, handing one to me. "Kaiden's pretty energetic, huh?"

"Yeah, he is," I replied, forcing a smile. "He's excited about Family Day. It means a lot to him."

"I can see that," Keous said, glancing back at Kaiden, who was eagerly lining up rings for the toss. "He seems like a great kid."

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa juice na hawak ko, parang kaswal lang sakanya na sabihin iyon, na walang pahiwatig ng katotohanan. Hindi ko tuloy lubod maisip kung anong magiging reaksyon niya kung malaman niyang sakanya si Kaiden, na anak namin ito.

"Thanks," I said softly, trying to keep the conversation light. "He loves being around people. It's one of his best traits."

Keous nodded, his eyes still on Kaiden. "I get that. Kids have this way of just being... real, you know? No pretense."

"Exactly," I said, feeling a pang of nostalgia for the times we spent together before everything changed. "It's refreshing."

He turned to me, his gaze serious. "Do you think he knows that it's a special day? Like, does he understand what Family Day really means?"

I swallowed hard, my heart racing. "I think he knows it's about being with loved ones, but... it can be complicated."

Keous's brow furrowed slightly. "Complicated how?"

I hesitated, my mind racing. I couldn't tell him the truth—not yet. "I guess some kids have different kinds of families. It can make him feel a bit out of place sometimes."

"Yeah, I get that," he said, his expression thoughtful. "I've seen it before. My friends have different family dynamics, and it can be tough on the kids."

The moment felt fragile, like glass ready to shatter. I took a breath, trying to keep the conversation going without revealing too much. "Kaiden is really good at adapting, though. He just wants to fit in."

"I'm sure he'll be just fine," Keous said, his voice reassuring. "He has you supporting him."

"Thanks, Keous. I try my best," I replied, feeling warmth spread through me at his kind words.

Just then, Kaiden ran back over, flushed with excitement. "Look, Mom! I got a ring on the first try!"

"Nice job, buddy!" I cheered, ruffling his hair.

Keous leaned down, a smile playing at his lips. "Impressive skills there, Bud. You might be the best ring tosser in this whole place!"

Kaiden beamed, clearly enjoying the attention. "Thanks! Can you stay with me? I don't want to do it alone!"

The question caught me off guard, and I felt the tension rise. I exchanged a glance with Keous, whose expression had shifted slightly. There was something there—an unspoken understanding, perhaps.

"I... uh, baby, mommy's right here," I said, hoping to maintain the balance between them.

Keous looked at Kaiden, then back at me. "I can stick around for a bit longer if that's okay."

Kaiden's eyes lit up. "Really? Yay! You can be my partner!"

I hesitated. It was both heartwarming and terrifying to watch this moment unfold. "I appreciate it, Keous, but—"

"No buts," Kaiden interrupted, a hint of stubbornness in his tone. "I want to show you how good I am at this!"

Keous laughed, the sound genuine and warm. "Alright then, I'm game! Let's do this."

As they headed back toward the activity area, I felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over me. I watched them from a distance, a small part of me wishing things could be different. I wanted to scream the truth, to reveal everything, but the moment felt too precious to spoil with my fears.

Kaiden turned around and waved at me, and I returned the gesture with a smile, my heart aching as I recognized how easily he had connected with Keous. But I was terrified of what would happen when the truth finally came out. Would he still look at Kaiden the same way?

The day continued with the laughter and chatter of families surrounding me, but all I could think about was the bond forming between my son and the man who was, unbeknownst to him, his father. I could only hope that whatever happened next would lead us to a place where we could finally confront the truth together.