Whispers in the Midst of Chasms

23

As we drove home, the car was filled with a comfortable silence, broken only by the soft sound of Kaiden's breathing in the back seat. I glanced at him in the rearview mirror, a wave of fondness washing over me as I watched his little body slump against the seat, exhausted from a day filled with fun and excitement.

Keous shifted his gaze from the road to the mirror, his expression softening as he caught sight of Kaiden. "He really enjoyed today," he remarked, a hint of warmth in his voice.

"Halata nga," sabay tingin sa anak kong nasa likuran, ngayon ko lang nakitang ganon ito ka saya, parang may pumiga sa puso ko ng isipin iyon, na may mga bagay talagang hinahanap si Kaiden na lalong nagpapasaya sa kanya, tulad nalang kung paano sila mag bonding kanina ni Keous. "Family Day means a lot to him."

As we pulled up to my apartment, I turned off the engine and took a deep breath, steeling myself for the moment ahead. I couldn't ignore the awkwardness in the air between us, especially with Kaiden sleeping soundly in the back seat.

"Do you want me to carry him in?" Keous offered, already reaching for the door.

I nodded, feeling a strange mixture of gratitude and anxiety. "Yeah, that would help. Thanks." Pumayag ako dahil gusto kong lubusin lahat ng oras na magkasama silang dalawa, dahil hindi ko na alam ang mangyayari sa susunod na araw. gusto kong maramdaman ng anak ko ang haplos at hawak ng kanyang Ama. 

He got out of the car and gently lifted Kaiden from his seat, cradling him in his arms as if he were the most precious thing in the world. The sight was both heartwarming and painful—he had no idea that this little boy was his son.

As we entered the apartment, the familiar smell of paint and canvas surrounded us. Dumeretsi agad ako sa kwarto ni Kaiden para mailagay na iya ni Keous sa kanyang kama. I noticed Keous's eyes widen slightly as he took in the colorful paintings adorning the walls, each piece telling a story of my journey as an artist. But it was one painting in particular that caught his attention.

"Wow, this one is incredible," he said, stepping closer to examine a large canvas that hung prominently. It was a vibrant piece Kaiden had created for me just last week—a colorful depiction of a superhero, complete with a red cape and a broad smile. It was clearly inspired by the connection he felt with Keous today.

"Thanks. Kaiden made that one," I said, my voice faltering slightly.

"Really? He has talent," Keous replied, his admiration evident. Then, turning slightly serious, he added, "What's this superhero's name?"

"Superman," I said, forcing a lightness into my tone. "He said he wanted to make a hero who could do anything."

A flicker of something crossed Keous's face—curiosity, perhaps. But before he could delve deeper, he shifted the topic. "So, what about his father? Is he involved?"

The question hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had to swallow hard to keep my composure. "He's... not really in the picture," I said carefully, avoiding specifics. "I'm just trying to be the best mom I can."

Keous nodded, seemingly accepting my answer, though I could see the hint of concern in his eyes. "It must be tough. Kids need their fathers, you know?"

Oo. kailangan ka ng anak mo..

Parang gusto kong sambitin ang mga katagang iyon sakanya, pero may kung anong pumipigil saakin.

"I know," I replied, feeling the weight of those words. "But Kaiden is strong. He's resilient."

"Good," he said, his voice softening. "He'll need that strength."

Lumabas na kami ng kwarto ni Kaiden at pinupo ko muna ito sa sofa, I shifted nervously, the atmosphere thick with unspoken words. Finally, I took a breath and broached the subject I had been dreading. "So, how are things with you and Alana? Is the wedding still on?" nasa harap ako nito naka upo ang nakatingin lang sa kanya.

Keous sighed, a flicker of frustration crossing his face. "Yeah, it's still on. It's... complicated. We've had our ups and downs, but I guess that's part of it, right?"

I nodded, trying to mask my emotions. "Yeah, I suppose it is."

"I just feel like there's so much pressure. Everyone expects everything to be perfect, and I don't know if I'm ready for it," he admitted, running a hand through his hair.

"Marriage is a big step," I said, my heart aching at the thought of him committing to someone else. "It should be something you want, not just what's expected."

He looked at me then, his eyes searching mine. "What do you think? Am I making a mistake?"

Oo.

I swallowed hard, wishing I could say more, but I kept my voice steady. "It's not about what I think. It's about what you feel. Do you love her?"

"I care about her," he said slowly, his expression thoughtful. "But sometimes, I wonder if I'm settling."

There was a silence, and I felt the weight of his words hang heavily between us. I wanted to scream, to tell him everything I had kept hidden, but the moment didn't feel right.

"Just, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons," I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. 

"Thanks, Dahlia. I appreciate you being honest with me," he said, his sincerity palpable.

Just then, Keous took a quick look at the picture frame over the TV rack, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "He really is something special, isn't he?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling a lump in my throat. "He is."

In that moment, standing together in the glow of my apartment filled with art, I felt a strange mix of hope and sadness. The connection between us was undeniable, but the truth loomed over us like a shadow, waiting for the right moment to surface. All I could do was hold onto the hope that, one day, we would find our way to that truth together.