Faer • Mattheo Riddle

9.0

The memory clawed its way back into my mind, dragging me into the darkness of that night, when I was fourteen.

I was standing in a dimly lit room, the air thick with the stench of blood and death. My hands—trembling violently—were coated in crimson, shaking uncontrollably as I stared at the lifeless body lying on the cold, stone floor. 

Her eyes, once filled with life, were now dull and empty, wide open in a permanent expression of fear. 

The woman's blood pooled around her, soaking into the hem of my robes. 

My breath hitched painfully in my chest, my heart racing so fast it felt like it would burst through my ribs.

I had done this. I

 had killed her.

I staggered backward, my legs giving way beneath me as I collapsed against the wall, barely able to process the horrific scene in front of me. 

My body felt foreign, as if I were no longer connected to it. The transformation had ripped through me—violent and uncontrollable—and left me with this... this monster I barely recognized.

The woman's face—twisted in terror—was all I could see. Her blood smeared on my hands, her final breath still echoing in my ears. 

The sheer weight of what I had done hit me like a tidal wave, knocking the air out of my lungs. 

Tears welled in my eyes, hot and blinding, and I pressed my trembling hands to my face, trying to wipe away the evidence, trying to erase the monstrous reality I couldn't escape.

I hadn't meant to. I didn't want to. But that didn't matter anymore, did it?

The guilt, thick and suffocating, coiled around my chest like a snake, squeezing tighter with every ragged breath I took. The room was spinning, shrinking around me, the walls closing in as I gasped for air, but all I could see was her—broken and gone because of me.

"No... no..." The words tumbled from my lips, barely a whisper, drowned out by the pounding in my skull. "I didn't mean to—"

But who was I trying to convince? The dead woman couldn't hear me. No one could.

My fingers dug into my scalp as I rocked back and forth on the floor, helpless to the anguish tearing through me.

 I could still feel the raw power that had surged through my veins, uncontrollable and violent, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake. 

My body felt like it didn't belong to me, like I was trapped inside some nightmare I couldn't wake up from. The sharp tang of metal clung to the back of my throat, the smell of blood choking me with every breath.

I had never wanted this.

But now, there was no turning back.

The sobs came then—gut-wrenching, raw sobs that wracked my entire body. I curled into myself, shaking violently, the horror of what I had done pressing down on me with the weight of a thousand sins.