ＴＷＯ ＢＩＲＤＳ

25

"hello, my name is han jisung and I'm the heir of the han group. I am very honored that I can stand here and give this speech at this important event. it's also a huge honor that the han group is a part of this event. I want to thank the organizers for this beautiful declaration, and for inviting us. the han group has been involved in this program since..."

"since 2003 jisung."
I said, looking at the paper with jisung's speech.

"since 2003, and it's been a joy to work with all of you. I hope that we have a lot of years of success in front of us, and...and..."

"and amazing collaboration."
I said, looking at jisung.

he groaned, before throwing himself on the bed, right in front of me.

"I'm tired of this, I won't be able to do it."
he whined.

"if you're going to keep saying that, then you can never get better, you have to believe in yourself."
I told him, caressing his hair.

"we have been here for like what? two hours? and I made no progress in remembering all of that."

"that's not true, you remember the first part perfectly, it's just the second half you have problems with."

"it's been a joy to work with all of you, bullshit, I never even met those people."
he sighed, before sitting up.
"this is the first time i actually have to speak in front of thousands of people. this event is huge. I have a huge problem just being there, but I even have to do a speech."

"hey, I know that it's hard for you, and I admire how amazingly you have been doing so far, but don't worry. you just have to say exactly what's on this paper. besides, I will be there with you. well, I won't exactly stand by your side, but I will be there."
I told him, taking his hand.
"so try not to stress about it that much."

"how can I not? the only person I am able to talk to normally is you. I can't even speak to my dad the way I'm speaking with you. and now I have to do a speech? does my father want to kill me?"

"then just imagine you're saying it to me. like right now. try not to think about anyone else but me, and if it's going to be possible, you can look at me the whole speech. so you will be saying it to me."

he sighed, before he moved closer to me and laid on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his forehead.

"I'm so tired minho. of everything. I don't want to go on these events, or be social."

I smiled sadly.
"I know ji. but you know that I can't do anything with that, even if I wanted."

"I know, I know."
he sighed.
"but...do you think I will be able to do what I want someday?

"want me to be 100% honest?"
I looked at him.

"I'm scared, but go on."

"you will have to wait until your father is six feet underground."

he sighed, laying his head on my chest.
"I figured."

"but hey...that's just like...thirty years away! if he will continue his drinking habit, it could be even twenty!"

"I don't know, but I don't think my father's death should be something to celebrate."
jisung said.

"I think it is. don't get me wrong, I know that you love him and that you care about him. but if he was gone, you would be able to do whatever you wanted. you could go live in a small apartment in the city with beautiful view that would inspire your lyrics. you could play your guitar whenever you wanted, go outside to photograph, or just to spend time with your friends. you could enjoy the light breeze hitting your face, and spend your life in a way you know would be worth it."
I said, tugging his hair behind his ear.
"you would be free."

"and fatherless."

"we would be twining."

"that's depressing."

"like our lives, I still don't see your point."

he just rolled his eyes, before closing them and getting more comfortable.
"how about I just...I don't know, locked myself in my bathroom and not come out?"

"that definitely wouldn't work in my opinion. I'm telling you your dad is breaking that door down just to get you out."

"I could also hide in the closet."

"I thought you already came out to your dad."

"okay, fuck you."
jisung said, offended.

I chuckled, kissing his head.
"maybe I can hide in the closet with you and come out to your dad when he opens the door."

jisung suddenly opened his eyes and moved his head so he would be able to face me.
"did you figure out your sexuality yet?"

I shrugged.
"I never really thought about it, you know? I literally thought I was straight for the 23 years of my life."

he chuckled.
"well, I would hope you like guys, since you are pretty much a huge fan of fucking me, but are you still attracted to women?"

"you're very right on the first part, but I'm not sure about the second. I mean, I had crushes on women, of course, I'm 23. maybe it's possible I still like girls."

"so you think you're bi?"

"I guess so. but saying I'm gay is so much better and cooler."

he chuckled.
"i never thought being gay was a cool thing, or flex."

"pfff, imagine you went into a bar and you would spend the entire night bragging to random strangers that you are gay."

"stoop, if I could I would do that. I would be curious how many disgusted faces i would get."

"I lot. welcome to Korea, hello and goodbye."

"I never understood homophobia. like, you're mad that two people love each other? are you that lonely that you gotta destroy other peoples happiness?"

"right? like the fuck is homophobia. racism too. we're all literally humans, we look the same inside, I don't know what's with people these days."

"people are shit."

"amen."

"slay."

"and now, my dear jisung."
I said, sitting up, making him get off of me.
"we should continue practicing your speech."

"fuck you."
he said, giving me the best death glare he could with that cute face of his.

"I love you too my dear."
I smirked.
"now cmon, your name is han jisung's and the city needs you."