𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Cracks In The Mask

Sanemis POV:

Sanemi tapped his pencil against the desk, eyes skimming over the open textbook in front of him. Biology, that’s what he was supposed to be focusing on, but right now, the words on the page might as well have been in another language. His mind was anywhere but on the process of photosynthesis. How could he focus when Kanae was sitting right across from him, so calm, so composed, like she always was?

He tried not to look at her, but it was impossible. She was right there, and her presence was distracting in a way he couldn't quite describe. He could feel her every movement, every soft sigh as she worked through her notes. Her steady hand gliding across the paper with that meticulous precision, the soft scratch of her pen filling the otherwise quiet library. It was maddening how unaffected she seemed, while he was fighting the urge to tear his attention away from her.

And him? He was doing what he always did best pretending.

Sanemi chuckled inwardly. He was a damn good actor. Years of practice had taught him how to keep his real feelings locked away, buried deep beneath that cocky smirk and nonchalant attitude. No one ever saw through the mask he wore. It was a skill, something he’d perfected over time. People just accepted the version of him he allowed them to see the tough guy who didn’t give a damn about much beyond getting through the day. He could play that role without even thinking about it. It was easier that way. Safer.

But something about Kanae was different. And that confused him him.

He glanced at her again, just a quick look, but it was enough to make his chest tighten. There she was, quietly flipping throug her notes, eyes scanning the pages with that calm, focused expression she always wore. Normally, silence like this would drive him crazy.It made him restless, made him want to fill the space with something anything to drown out the thoughts that crept in when things got too quit. But with her? It was different. The silence between them didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt… easy.

And that’s what confused him the most.

Around her, he didn’t feel the need to wear his usual armor all the time. He didn’t have to be the tough, indifferent Sanemi. He didn’t have to keep up the act. There was something about Kanae that made him feel free in a way he couldn’t quite explain. Like he didn’t have to be anyone other than who he was in that moment. She made it easy. Too easy.

Which was ridiculous, when he really thought about it. He barely knew her.

Sure, they’d spent hours together over the past few weeks tutoring sessions, late-night talks about school, their futures. But still, what did he really know about her? She was a mystery, wrapped up in that composed, graceful exterior. And that’s what bothered him the most. He wanted to know more. He craved it, like a nagging itch he couldn’t scratch.

Not just the surface-level stuff. He didn’t care about her grades or her study habits though he had to admit, she was probably the smartest person he’d ever met. No, he wanted to know the real things. The stuff she kept hidden behind that calm, collected mask. The same way he hid behind his own walls.

What made her tick? What did she care about? What did her laugh sound like when it wasn’t just the polite chuckle she gave during their sessions? And why was she always so damn composed, even when he was being difficult? Why didn’t she lose her cool like everyone else? What was she hiding behind that serene, untouchable exterior? And why the hell did he care so much?

He shifted in his seat, trying to push the thoughts away, but they clung to him, persistent. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the biology textbook in front of him, his mind kept drifting back to her. He found himself wanting to know her in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Wanting to see her crack, even just a little, to show him something real, something raw. But every time he thought he might get close, she’d smile, say something kind, and the walls would go right back up.