Of Blood and Hope || The Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon

II: Silent Roads Ahead

"The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind."

Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

"It makes me tremble. To think back. I remember exactly how I thought life would be."

Anne Carson, The Beauty of The Husband

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Adeline found safety in her stories.

As her heart longed to be far away, where her ghosts couldn't reach her, and the adventures and the beauties of the world were just a step away, she could easily find refuge within them, as they intertwined with her own life.

Jason had his Harley. Adeline had her books

She could read a relatively large book in a weekend—or even less, sometimes. Once she began a book that was particularly good, she could never stop. Exhaustion, the end, or Jason calling her name usually marked her finishing lines.

But one of the reasons Adeline read as often as she did was because, in those moments, she could see herself free from the thoughts and emotions that, unforgivingly, haunted her mind. For just a moment, Adeline Dixon could be courageous and bold. Dauntless. Fearsome instead of fearful. For a few hours she was the wolf.

Adeline could have stayed there for hours longer, nestled among her cushions on the floor by the window, lost in the pages of The Fellowship of the Ring. But the sun was casting an orange light through the lace curtains, dancing with the wind as it touched the pages of her book, turning the tips of her red hair into a bright, fiery shade. The sunset meant it was now time to leave.

Adeline made her way to the wardrobe. Her hand reached for a white long-sleeved shirt on the hanger, but she hesitated. Instead, her fingers traced the beaded cuff bracelet on her wrist.

She had made it with Serena, Jason's girlfriend, a few months ago when summer had begun. It had beads of different sizes, colored in pink, purple, and gold. It was a compromise, as the older girl had said. Long-sleeved shirts were fine for most of the year, but apparently, not during the summer. So both Serena and Jason had came up with the bracelet idea. It did an almost decent job of hiding the horrid scar on her right wrist.

It snaked from the edge of her palm, coiling around her wrist, and ending on the side of her forearm. Adeline hated all of her scars, but this one was right there, always impossible to ignore. The bracelet covered the thickest part, but the tip peeked out just enough to remind her. With the bracelet on, others would hardly notice, but Adeline always would. She hated even catching a glimpse of it.

It was the end of summer, and the weather in the mountainy North of Georgia would cool by nightfall. Adeline could use the chilly evening air as an excuse to wear long sleeves. But in her mind, she could already see the disapproving looks on Jason and Serena's faces. You were doing so well, they'd silently say. For the past few months, she had forced herself to keep her arms uncovered, even when school started again, the bracelet acting as a comforting shield. To see their smiles, Adeline had pushed aside the anxiety that occasionally bubbled in her stomach.

But there was hardly anything occasional about that day, was there? The kids at school would mostly ignore her, but not Jason's friends. There would be so many of them today. What if they saw it? What if they asked questions?

But worse—what if they thought she was some kind of freak? Walking around in long sleeves during summer, like a crazy person. And the thought that stung the most: Jason would just be so disappointed at her. Adeline couldn't give him one more thing to worry about that day, especially not a tormented little sister who could even pick a goddamn shirt.