Not A Game | Phan AU

Video Game Club | II

Phil Lester wasn't at school the next day, and normally, this would relieve most people. It concerned me. What happened? Why wasn't he here? All it meant was that tomorrow's beating was going to be worse because I'd had a day of calm. I figured I could use the day to find some sort of thing about school that makes me not want to kill myself.

Today was club sign up day so as I walked down the hallway, desperate club leaders tried to convince me to sign up for their shitty clubs. Right in front of my locker, the table for the video game club sat. The kid at the table was sat back, feet up. When he noticed I'd stopped in front of him he glanced up and started his monologue.

"Hey kid. Welcome to the video game club sign up. I'm not the leader, he'll be here tomorrow. All we do after school is play video games. You gonna sign up or not?"

His argument was weak but I was a huge video games nerd and I didn't even know the school had a club like this. I grabbed the pen and silently signed my name. He nodded slowly and went back to whatever he was doing before as I stepped behind him, grabbing the stuff I needed for the rest of the day.

Of course, the last three hours of school bored me to death but I forced my eyes to stay open as I tried to pay attention. Just as I felt myself drifting off, the bell's sharp tones rang through the school, bouncing around in my head as I grabbed all of my stuff, quickly cramming it into my bag and rushing out just in case Phil Lester decided to show up.

I got home without any sign of the slightly attractive blue eyed black haired asshole. My mom tried to start a conversation but I stayed silent and walked away from her, up the stairs. Finally in the peace and quiet of my room, I tossed my bag away and started blasting Muse as I collapsed on the bed. I held my arm above my face so I could clearly see the scars. They were healing nicely. I rolled onto my other side, thinking about the day to come.

No doubt, Phil Lester would be there to beat me up, call me names, tell me how useless I was and I'd no doubt believe every word he said because it was true. I didn't need someone to tell me but he seemed keen for the job and I couldn't fire him. I honestly think the video game club could be good for me. Maybe they'd all be nerds like I was. Maybe I'd finally make a friend and not be so damn lonely.

But I'm Dan Howell. The gay, useless, brown eyed brown haired unattractive faggot. Who wants to be friends with someone like me? Why haven't they spoken up before? My head filled with whys and the voice that resided there answered all of them in Phil Lester's voice and of course I believed all the insults they threw at me because why wouldn't I? They were true.

I hadn't even noticed the tears on my face until my door opened quietly and my mom let herself in, sitting next to me. She said nothing, thankfully, and just rubbed small circles into my back. Needless to say, it did comfort me. Soon enough, my head was silent and I was asleep