The disease of lies [Hachiman x Yukino]

Chapter 12 : His and Her heart reunite

A/N : I really loved writing this chapter :)

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Hikigaya-kun has returned.

The last time I saw him he was in a hospital bed. Now he was in front of me, staring into the depths of my eyes. His eyes that I had missed so much during the time I couldn't see him.

In the clubroom, I noticed that his skin was subtly turning paler. His voice also lost in energy. I could feel whenever he moved or talked a word how badly his sickness was affecting him.

And observing it was so painful because I'm used to looking at him so often, I can't help but notice the most subtle details and changes. I wish I could stay delusional, that I could not have noticed them. But I have.

I struggled so much to stay composed in front of this sight.

When he confronted me on the school's roof, I poured out all my feelings of hurt and anger towards him. I meant every word I said, I was wounded, and he was the cause of it. I needed to voice my feelings, to let out all the thoughts and emotions that had been building up within me.  I had allowed myself to be too lenient with him for far too long.

Everyone has their own limits. I have mine too. And Hikigaya-kun crossed them.

I walked through the streets, filled with the falling rain. I held my umbrella over my head to protect myself. But this umbrella was strangely inefficient today. I could still feel the raindrops on my face.

I suppose, I should change it.

...

Pov : Hachiman Hikigaya

...

I thought about something.

Since I'm about to leave the club, I must inform Hiratsuka-sensei.

If only I could skip that step... but that's impossible. The last time I talked to her, she encouraged me to reach for Yukinoshita. She placed her hopes on me, and she confessed that she wanted to congratulate me on something.

If I announce to her that I am going to leave the Service Club, what kind of reaction should I expect from her?

I will surely be scolded, and told how wrong my choice is.

But I failed, so my current choice is the only one I have left.

"Good afternoon, Hikigaya-kun."

No, Hachiman, you can live a few months without hearing it just fine.

"You're okay?"

Stop thinking about it, it's over.

"What are you looking at, Hikigaya-kun?"

That rotten mind of mine couldn't help but relentlessly replay her voice in my head, forcing me once more to re-examine my choice.

It was at the very moment when I needed to rely on logic and reason that my emotions seemed to surge the strongest, taking over my thoughts and clouding my judgment.

"Please, stay a little longer..."

"..."

No, Hachiman, stay in focus. Don't let it get to you.

Yukinoshita would never say this kind of sentences in the future. She hates me now.

I won't be able to fulfill Haruno's request, unfortunately.