Queer ➸ OT4

i

Not too long after the revelation, the boys came back into the hotel room, surprisingly quiet. Probably because they thought Michael was napping.

Said boy sat up to look at them as they came in, "Hey guys." He said quietly, sounding less like he was nervous and more like he'd just woken up.

The boys all stopped walking, surprised to see him awake. "Mikey!" Luke yelped, running over and tackling him in a hug on the bed, "Are you feeling better?" He asked, sitting up.

Luke always acted like such a puppy. The thought made Michael smile, "Yeah, I am. Mostly." He paused, looking at his lap, "I wanted to talk to you guys about something though."

Calum and Ashton climbed onto the double bed with them, coming to sit beside the boy with the red hair. Luke climbed off of Michael hesitantly sitting in front of him. "What's wrong Mikey? Are you sad? Do you need soup?" The blonde cocked his head to the side, curiously.

Michael shook his head, "No I'm okay. I just..." He trailed off, trying to find courage somewhere inside his body, "This is so fucking awkward I'm sorry." He put his face in his hands, sighing.

Someone's hand found its way to his back and rubbed gently. Apparently Ashton's, as he said "It's okay Michael, take your time. We're here for you."

Michael smiled gratefully at him and nodded, "I-.. I'm not into girls." He said quietly, raising a hand to stop Luke when he went to go speak, "I'm not into guys either. I'm not... I'm not into anyone." He couldn't look at them, too scared to see their faces.

Suddenly Ashton's arms were around him, "You can say it Mikey. It'll make you feel better."

"I'm asexual." Michael mumbled. 

Luke looked confused, "What's that?"

"It means Michael doesn't feel sexual attraction most of the time or maybe at all. To anyone." Ash shortened it to make the definition clearer. He squeezed Michael gently in his arms, turning to talk quietly in the boy's ear, "Don't worry Mikey. I still love you the same."

Michael smiled at Ashton, leaning into the friendly hug.

Calum snorted, "Yeah, it'd take a lot to make us stop loving you." He joined in on the hug, Turning to look at Luke, "Right Luke?" There was a slightly threatening undertone to his voice.

Luke nodded, "Yeah I just... I'm confused." He whined, climbing forward to take his place on Michael's lap back. The younger boy nuzzled into his chest, "I'll always love you Mikey. I promise."

Michael was so relieved, he didn't have any way to express it. He just kind of sighed happily and sunk into the cuddles from his best friends.

-

The next morning when Michael woke up he was a little disoriented. Being surrounded by bodies wasn't something he was used to. There were only two though, as he noticed Ashton was missing. He struggled his way out of the other boys' grips, climbing out of bed. Calum and Luke cuddled into each other, apparently not noticing Michael's absence.

The drummer was seated at the desk that was provided by the hotel. Michael walked over and leaned next to him, "What're you doing up so early?" He asked quietly. It was barely past 9am.

"I'm making a little sheet." He replied, smiling, "So we can all get to know each other better."

Michael laughed, "We've been in a band for almost four years; I think we know each other pretty well."

Ashton just shrugged, turning back to his paper, "We never really discussed sexuality and stuff."

"It never came up." Michael responded, leaning so his chin was on Ash's shoulder.

"Well now we won't have to make the same mistakes again, right?"

Michael nodded to appease the oldest, knowing once he set his mind to something you'd be hard pressed to get him to stop.

They stayed like that for a while, Michael rested on Ash, watching as he worked. He loved the way Ashton concentrated so hard on a simple little list of questions. The way he kept his hair tied back in the little bun (which Ash insisted was just a regular bun because "Man-bun is a stupid and unnecessary word.") but some strands still made their way to his face.

Soon enough Luke and Calum got up, and as a group they decided they should head out somewhere to get breakfast. They walked together, giggling about random things, to a small diner down the road from the hotel.

Once they were all settled in a booth in the back corner with their orders on the way, Ashton pulled a folded paper from his pocket. Michael instantly recognized it and groaned.

"So," Ashton started, making the others stop talking, "I figured after yesterday we needed a little push to get to know each other a little better, since we obviously don't know as much as we thought."

Calum and Luke looked at each other, confused. "What?" Luke asked, speaking for both of them.

"Here." Ash said, unfolding the paper, "Let's just start and go for it." Everyone just kind of looked at the oldest. He coughed awkwardly and continued, "I figured we should start with everyone's sexuality... Michael can you go first since we already know?"

Michael sighed and looked down to the table, talking quietly. "I'm asexual. I don't like the genitals."

Everyone giggled quietly. Luke then went, "I'm not really sure. I guess you could say pansexual?"

To which Calum replied, "You fuck kitchenware?"

Luke laughed, "Nononono it's kinda the opposite of Mikey I guess. He doesn't like anyone. I like everyone, regardless of gender and stuff... yeah. Mostly it's more based on personality."

"Ohh..." Calum said quietly. "I think it's called demisexual, what I am? Like, I don't feel sexual feelings for someone unless we have a really close bond." He looked a little shy, which surprised Michael, since Calum's usually so confident.

Ashton smiled, "I like dudes." He said, laughing. "Okay, next is gender." They all looked confused, but Ash just pointed to Michael.

"Uh... male?"

Then Luke, "Dude."

And Calum, "A guy?" it was phrased as a question, most likely because he was confused.

Ashton blushed, "I'd say I'm agender."

Luke looked so lost, "But you have a dick..."

The oldest smiled at him, "Genitals are your sex. Your gender is how you feel on the inside. I don't really feel like a boy or a girl, I'm somewhere in the middle."

Michael loved the little shine in Ashton's eyes as he spoke. He looked so happy to talk about this. "What pronouns do you want, Ash?" He asked quietly.

Ashton looked surprised that Michael asked, but he grinned, "I like they/them a lot. It would be great if you could use those." They said, leaning gently into Michael's side.

Luke still looked really confused though, so Michael spoke up again, "Don't worry too much, Luke. They're still the same Ashton, you just can't call them him anymore."

Ashton leaned their head on Michael's shoulder as the food finally arrived, "Thank you so much." They said quietly, before sitting up to dig in.

Soon enough the conversation settled back to normal as they laughed and chatted. It was almost like nothing had changed.

And yet Michael could feel in the reserved atmosphere that no one felt quite comfortable yet. Maybe soon, he hoped.

-----

Hello again! :) I spent a while writing this and I'm pretty happy with how it came out.

If I got anything wrong just let me know! I hope you liked it and there should be more soon.

The flag at the top is the agender flag! :D

Love you all

xx Beth