The Necklace

21: What's That on Your Neck?

I'm not going to think about last night. I'm not going to think about how sweaty I was when I woke up. And I'm not going to think about him today.

But I can't stop thinking about the unreal pleasure he gave me last night. I've never experienced a man being able to bring me to climax that easily. Was it magic, or is he just that skilled?

Every time I see him I end up in the same situation. I come in clear headed before I talk to him and then I get confused again. Sure, he's easy on the eyes, and there's no denying the appeal of his looks. But marriage? I'm not about to jump into something just because he's gorgeous. I need more than just a pretty face to commit to something as serious as marriage. It has to be about real love and compatibility, not just superficial attraction.

Today I'm meeting up with my family for lunch. It will be my Aunt Stacy, my mom, and my 2 cousins Alexa and Darcy. Seeing Aunt Stacy always brings back memories of when dad passed away. The month after he died, my mom did not leave her bed. Stacy and the twins would come over every day and she took care of us. She was there for us constantly, and eventually my mom was able to find a way to navigate our new normal and get back on her feet.

I don't want to deal with any questions around the necklace, so I decide to tuck it under my shirt. While tucking the necklace in, I notice a trace of what looks like a hickey on my neck. I don't understand how far the reality of the dreams go. If there are marks from what he did in the dream showing up in real life, wouldn't that mean it was real?

I don't want questions about the necklace and I sure as hell don't want questions about my love life so I try to cover the hickey up with concealer before heading out.

I quickly grab my keys and phone, checking I have everything, then sling my bag over my shoulder to head out to meet my family at a cafe down by the pier.

At the cafe, we're quickly seated outside. The weather is perfect, and we're lucky to snag a table with a view of the pier. The sun is shining, the breeze is refreshing, and the sight of the ocean stretching out before us is beautiful.

"Elina you have to tell me your skincare routine. You look like you're glowing" Aunt Stacy says.

"It's that new grad glow. She's got her whole life ahead of her" My mom chimes in. "Have you given any thought to if you were going to apply to any grad programs yet? It might be too late to start in the fall, but you could always still apply"

"Thanks, Aunt Stacy," I reply with a faint smile, brushing off the compliment on my skin. I know where the glow is from, but I can't talk about him.

The discussion veers towards my future plans, and I can feel the pressure settling over me like a weighted blanket.

"I'm still trying to figure it all out," I admit, staring out at the waves crashing against the pier.

Aunt Stacy nods sympathetically, but Mom jumps in again, her worry evident. "Don't stress, sweetie. You've got time to figure things out."

"Yeah, I guess so," I reply, trying to sound relaxed, but inside, I'm wrestling with uncertainty. The truth is, the job hunt hasn't been great, and the idea of grad school feels daunting. And don't even get me started on the fact that I'm technically engaged.

I just wish I had some clarity about where I'm headed.

I turn to my cousins. "This is what you have to look forward to when you get older." I say sarcastically.

"We already know what we want to do. We're going to both become vets and open a practice together. We're going to call it Twin Vets" Darcy says.

"Wow clever. Looks like you got it all figured out then, huh?"

"What's that on your neck?" Alexa asks smugly.

"W-what's what?" I ask. Silently panicking that she's noticed the necklace.

"It looks like a bruise with a little bit of concealer on it. What happened?"

"It looks like a hickey" My mom says. "Honey, did you and Jesse finally start seeing each other?"

My mom has wanted me to date Jesse since she became aware of his existence. I've told her time and time again that we're just friends, but I think she knows that I've liked him at some point.

"No, I didn't hook up with Jesse. We're just friends mom."

"Then are you seeing someone? Who gave you the hickey?" She asks.

"Nobody! I'm not seeing anyone. It's just a bruise." I insist.

Mom sighs, her gaze softening with a hint of understanding.

"Honey, it's okay if you're not seeing anyone right now. I just want you to be happy," she says gently, reaching out to pat my hand.

"But you know, I've always liked Jesse. There's just something about you two... I can't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you'll eventually find your way together."

Her words temporarily make me think of Jesse and how it feels to be in his arms, but then I notice a burning sensation on my chest. 

I can't tell if it's from the sun, or on it's own, but I swear the metal of the necklace just got much hotter than it was before. Calvin.