Smile.
Look happy.
Act like you're enjoying yourself.
Things I've always thought to myself during parties like this. Being a hostess was like being an actress: you had to be superficial and convincing.
Otherwise, the show would be all over.
I glanced back to my husband, Chrom, greeting the guests as he was supposed to do. He too, was wearing an artificial grin. I've been seeing them a lot more lately.
"Oh my! Sumia, you look gorgeous!"
My attention was turned towards Robin, who oh-so-kindly complimented me on my appearance.
"That dress looks expensive! Perks of being a Queen, huh?" She winked, holding my hand.
It took every inch of me not to flinch. I knew she wasn't doing this on purpose, but just looking at her made me agitated.
Though she was the one who said I looked "gorgeous", I was nothing compared to her. Her genuine smiles and gentle personality made her shine -no matter what she was wearing. From the corner of my eye, I could tell that, like any other man, Chrom was staring at her.
"Hey, is something wrong?" She questioned worriedly, "You seem off."
Her innocence made me feel guilty, but that did not stop me from sliding my hand away. I just wanted her to leave.
"I'm fine. I'm a little busy, greeting the guests and all." I sighed, waving her away, "I bet your husband is waiting."
She winced, slightly hurt from my bluntness.
"You're right. I'll see you later."
She walked away, still as beautiful as ever. I felt myself ache inside. I knew I should apologize, but somehow I could not force myself to do so. She disappeared among the crowds, leaving me with a sense of shame.
'Too late.'
That feeling dissolved as I saw my husband follow her.
It was as if someone stabbed me, wriggling the rift right into my inner core. Digging deeper and deeper with every step he took.
Love was a horrible thing.
Apart of me asked why I even married Chrom in the first place, if I knew it was going to end up like this. Another knew that I couldn't ever say no to my love, even though he could never feel the same.
I glared at the ground, pitying myself as the everyone else in room joyfully continued to make merry. It almost seemed as if they were mocking me, snickering at the way my situation turned out. I let out my own laugh, ridiculing myself even further.
How I wished this could all end somehow.
But it couldn't. This was the role I chose to play. "Chrom's loyal and dutiful wife." "The Queen of Ylisse." However, sometimes I wondered why he didn't choose her instead.
'What a silly question,' I thought to myself, 'You know exactly why.'
I wasn't Chrom's first choice. Far from it, actually. The council wanted me to be queen. I suppose they thought I would be suited to the role. Better than a random woman he found in a field. If anyone asked me, I would probably agree as well.
But I knew he loved her. Anyone could tell, with that starry look in his eyes. It made me feel disgusted, looking at the two of them. At certain times Chrom would notice and console me, saying how she was only just a friend, or his tactician.
He didn't notice the emptiness in his words, but I did.
There was nothing's could to do about it. It wasn't as if he was cheating, and if I spoke about it to someone, it would give him a bad name. I wouldn't even dare to talk about it with Chrom himself. He'd only make the pain spread further, denying it.
Tired of the party, I walked up the staircase, retiring to bed. The clacks of my heels were muffled by the useless chatter that surrounded me.
I began to think about him again. About how I should be with him, and not Robin. I knew, somewhere inside me, it was not her fault. But to ease myself, I blamed her.
I opened the door to my bedroom, feeling a slight relief. The smiling mask I had upon my face had fully disappeared by then. Tired, I slid off my dress and laid on the bed, still wearing my bodice. I was free to be me in this room; at least when my husband was absent.
"My husband," I scoffed, not really talking to anyone in particular.
It didn't feel like a marriage. Two years of being together and yet we'd barely had one real conversation. Just a few good-mornings and good-nights. Hollow kisses that sparked no flame, no matter how hard the two of us tried.
And yet I loved him with every inch of soul in my being.
I reminisced the old, naive me of five years ago. The young klutzy woman who was head-over-heels for the Prince of Ylisstol. I wasted hours in the kitchen, baking pies that he would under-appreciate. Tripping myself to make him notice me more. Flaunting my animal talents left and right in hopes that I could just somehow catch his attention.
But in the end, my efforts were useless. He would choose me, but never look at me. The ring on my finger was plastic, as well as our relationship. No matter how long we'd be together, our hearts would not get any closer than an inch.
Suddenly, I was interrupted from my thoughts as I heard a knock. From the other side of the door, I heard a familiar voice.
"Sumia? Are you okay?" Chrom asked, "Robin said you were upset."
Robin.
Of course.
"I'm fine, dear! I'm just tired. Continue without me."
He left without saying another word. I shrunk back, feeling the hot tears stroll down my face.
I would always be his devoted wife.
