Whispers At Midnight

escape

I was 16 now, in high school. I was a quiet shy girl. I just had one friend. Maya. I didn't made her friend but she just made me her friend. I mostly stay quiet and she just keeps talking. I'm mostly in my own thoughts. High school is a bit escape for me. Maya always takes care of me and stays with me. She always tries to make me happy. Sometimes she actually makes me laugh and sometimes I just pretend to. I hardly talk so she doesn't know much about me. She knows about my abusive father as she saw some bruises on me many times which I got while trying to protect my mom and I had to tell her everything. She got so worried and I somehow stoped her from going to police. After that she even takes more care of me. I started to love her as she is only one in my life. But I still ditch her sometimes to read books in library. She gets angry after that but she is a bubbly girl so she is easy to convince.

Today as always my day started with my dad yelling at my mom. As I remember last night he didn't come home. My mom must be asking him about where he was. I woke up with his voice. Last night, I again had that nightmare. I woke up in middle of night due to it, panting badly. My breath was uneven. I had to ran towards my window to take some deep breaths.
I should be used to them now but every time, it gave me same shiver. And by the time, those things are making me more sick as I'm getting to know what that was. Somehow I feel my body more dirty . I always take a bath after that dream and rub each part of my body so much that sometimes it starts to peal my skin and sometimes it bleeds. But I can't help it. I always feel that my body is dirty. I need to clean every mark.

Last night too, I slept late after that dream and now early in the morning my father's voice woke me up. I wish my father's sweet voice wake me up sometime. I don't have a single memory of him loving me like other fathers love their daughters. But I no more have any expectations.

I got up from my bed and went to my washroom with sleepy eyes. My room is same as before with little changes. Like my bed is now close to my window. Room color is something peach, which is not my choice at all. There are some flower pots on a shelf close to my window which are also not my choice. My mom decorated them to make my room a little lively. I still remember that day, she had wounds all over her face but she was smiling. Though there was pain in her eyes and I so badly wanted to see those eyes happy. I hardly speak to her or to anyone. I write my dairy and I do sketching and painting but sadly there is no such Painting which I could show as they all are just picture of my inner feelings and suffocation. I was a living dead person, patiently waiting for my death.

I washed up and went downstairs to cook breakfast. I do it to help my mom a bit. I just quietly made breakfast and packed some for myself and went to my room to get ready for school. I always do this and my mom serves after that. I eat my breakfast in my bus. Not because of time because I don't want to sit with them and call them a family.

Soon I reached school and Maya jumped at me and hugged me. She was waiting for me at the gate like always. I don't know why she does so much for me,when I do nothing for her. I do care for her and love her but I don't know how to show it. We both were going towards our classroom and she was busy telling me about the movie she watched last night. She just kept talking until our teacher arrived in class.
Everyone in class were focused on lecture, including Maya. But I was lost somewhere. The nightmare. The past. Everything was in front of me like a movie. I knew if I didn't find an escape for this situation now then I'll have panic attacks again or I'll be converted into some metal girl. I was desperately waiting for teacher to leave. As soon teacher left the classroom I also ran outside going to find my escape. I didn't gave any chance to Maya to follow me. And here I am . In front of library. I went inside and took the novel I have started and sat on a corner table of library. I started reading and soon got lost in it. I was no more in the world. I was in that novel. It was a love story. I was the main character. I was so into it. I was in the foods. Lost there. Running as a wolf was behind me and someone saved me. I bumped into that person and hugged him. The wolf bend down in front of the person. I looked behind and was shocked to see the wolf sitting calmly. Then I slowly turned towards the person and my expressions changed into fear or shock. How did he find me. I was about to ask him when someone snatched my book from my hands and I landed to reality. I looked up at the person and it was Maya. Fuming in anger. Her face was red which somehow made me concerned. She was looking very angry and then she started to cry. I panicked and stood up and hugged her.