The Girl Who Lost Herself

Chapter 5

workout...

I definitely didn't think it through when I thought of doing workout. I was gasping for breath as I lay on the floor all sweaty.

I already hadn't slept a blink last night cause of the words my brother had literally spit in my ears. It wasn't fair! They were the ones who made mistake, and I was the one who suffered... It was just not fair. And now? He just came to apologize so that he won't feel as guilty as he was feeling. Well, at least he was human enough to feel guilt... But was he really that bad of a brother? I sighed. Many such thoughts were circling around my brain and my brain could not handle them. Whatever. I didn't have time for such things. I still needed to do a lot of things.

I quickly got up from the floor and did another set of the full workout. After approximately 1 hour I went to the bathroom stripping all the wet clothes off my body. I went straight to the shower. The hot water was really soothing for my skin and tired muscles. As I didn't have any skin care products I had to use only soap for the time being. While bathing I noticed how hairy my hands, legs and especially my armpits were. Ugh! I needed to wax or at least shave them asap. I quickly changed into clean clothes and went down stairs feeling tired from the almost two hours workout but it was all going to be worth it. I went straight to the kitchen and ordered one of the maids to make me a smoothie and to send it to my room once it was done. I walked around the house trying to find the butler but he was no where to be found. I went to my room where the maid was waiting with my smoothie. I asked her the whereabouts of Miss- uhh whoever she was, and the butler and she told me that Miss Gracie had went to get the groceries and the butler had gone to drop Jason off at school.

I drank my smoothie and went around wandering in the house and somehow ended up in probably my parent's room. There was a giant portrait made of our family. From the painting anyone might think that we were the most perfect family ever but to be honest I didn't think the family where the parents care more about a business trip than their child who tries kill themselves, will be perfect. In fact, that family would be the most imperfect kind of family ever. I don't think that that family can even be called a family. Afterall family is formed with base of love, trust, care. And if the most important base is missing how can it be called a family? And if a little kid's family is like this, missing the most important base, is it really that kid's fault to be born into that family? Or is it that family's fault for giving birth to that child and ruining its life? Yeah I agree that no family is ever perfect. There are going to be fights. Sometimes over things that do not even make sense, but sticking together even after those fights is what is expected from a family. Understanding each other is what is expected from a family. And how would a kid survive if it is not getting what is expected of a family?

I bit my tongue sensing the tears about to fall from my eyes. How could my parents be so – so I didn't even have a word to describe them. Was work really more important to them than everything else? Or was it just that I wasn't important to them? I continued to observe their very luxurious room, obviously bought from all the money they have earned. It was actually pretty good to look at. Many expensive paintings and artworks were there. A king-sized bed was there right beside the giant wardrobe. It looked like the typical bedrooms of typical snobby rich people. I walked out of there with teary eyes.

I went outside the house to get some fresh air. I had not been able to get a good look of the house yesterday when the butler had brought me back from the hospital but now that I saw it was really really big like a king's castle type big. It was a wonder how people can have such big houses but such small hearts. I continued to look around and found the pool that I had already seen from my room. I sat down putting my legs in the water. This feeling was so calm and soothing.

I was still at the pool when the maid came to inform me that lunch was ready. I looked at my phone surprised to see that so much time had passed. I quickly got up and went inside towards the dining room. I nodded my head to the maid and she served me the lunch.

" Isn't the butler back yet?" I asked the maid.

" Yes mam, he is." She replied keeping her head down.

"Where is he then?"

"He is running errands around the house. Do you want me to go fetch him?"

"No that won't be necessary." I replied and the conversation was over. After lunch I searched all over the house for the butler to find him arranging books in the library. "Heyyy butler-"

"Its Mr. James madam." He said seeing me struggling to remember his name.

"Right, anyways I need to go to the mall to buy a few things." I said and he went right away to inform the driver to remove the car. The mall was a bit far from the house but I was too much indulged in taking photos and selfies and posting them online. After reaching the mall I got out of the car and went inside with the butler while the driver waited outside for us. The mall was really big and there were just too many things to do but first things first I took out my list of things I needed to buy and went into different stores with my butler on my tail. Like all the other spoiled rich girls, I exited every store with one bag added to the butler's arm. Hopefully he wasn't tired already cause there were still a lot of things and shopping to do. Till evening I had made a lot of friends by bonding over makeup and clothes and also posted a lot of pictures on all my social medias. I was exhausted by the time we reached home. I just straight up went to my room and ordered a maid to bring all the things I had bought today to my room and of course she followed my orders cause even if I wasn't awake to see her do it I did find the bags on my table when I woke up in the morning.