My Family

Broken Fast

Abhira was in a great mood this morning. She had a fantastic breakfast with her husband, who made jugaadu sargi. She also got her grandmother-in-law's blessing, which was a rarity. It was confusing how much Kaveri had started to favour her, but Abhira was starved enough to not stop it. Any scrap of love felt too precious to let go, her being latching to whatever offered.

More than that, she was exhausted.

Her pregnancy was already wearing her out. Her lower back was aching oddly, and she felt faint half the time. Her taste buds felt so off that the leafy greens and any fortified dairy were not being digested, but for her low platelet count, it was necessary to eat such foods.

"Bye," Armaan grinned widely, pulling her cheeks slightly as he bent to hug her.

"Bye, Khadoosman," She said, putting her arms around his shoulders. Pulling him closer, she wanted to burrow herself into his cocoon and not care about anything. If it was exhausting physically, then it was even more exhausting mentally to hide this from him. It was hurting him. Abhira knew that, but she felt stuck. How was she to explain that she wanted to give birth to a baby despite the complications? How was she to explain that this was her chance at having something of her mother? If there was anything Abhira revered along with her love for Armaan, it was her mother and her inordinate strength that she showed motherhood.

Abhira wanted that with a child of her own, but she also knew there was a chance—a huge chance—that she would never have that bond and love with her child.

Because she would be gone, perhaps she would be with her beloved mumma, watching over her child and Armaan from afar. It was both selfish and stupidly selfless, really, and Abhira knew that. To hide this news from Armaan and deprive him of the right to know everything... was incredibly unfair.

When had she become a soap drama's typical bahu?

"Theek ho?" Armaan looked at her oddly, his eyes raking over her knowingly. His eyes were begging her to tell him what was wrong. He would fix whatever happened. Abhira shook her head; he could not fix this. Armaan sighed, almost as if reading the reason behind the light shake of her head.

"I am fine, Khadoosman. Tum jao," She beckoned him to the front door of the outhouse and hugged him one last time before leaving.

"Abhira?" She froze after turning. Did he know? Could he feel the changes that were consuming her body and health day by day? She imagined him screaming and crying after telling him of the complications. She could visualize a stark image of him begging her to abort the baby. She could see him loathing her choice to continue the pregnancy. How was she supposed to tell him?

"Haan?" She turned and brightly smiled.

"Apna dhyaan rakhna," he said, and she smiled. She revered his care just as much as his love. Her mumma always made the best choices for her, Abhira decided as she watched Armaan get in his car.

Kaash...

She consumed herself with wishful thinking. If her mumma had been here, she would have had the guidance to navigate this ordeal. If she were here with her strength and worldly knowledge, maybe Abhira would not have been speechless in front of the man who loved her more than breathing. Perhaps she would have had it in her to defy, continue defying.

"Mumma," Abhira looked up and breathed. She would somehow get through this day and then tell Armaan everything. She would tell him everything, even if it meant brutal opposition and pain.

Walking inside the Poddar House, she saw Vidya and Madhav argue. A part of her was really irritated, an itchy feeling raking up her back. Couldn't everyone just be quiet for one single moment? Turning around, she was about to leave to return to the outhouse when Aryan was lamenting over the recordings.