Another Life || Vinny Mauro

seven

Sedona

Another hour and another coffee later, he had the synopsis of my life from the past five years. I spared the true details of the multiple incidents with Tommy, since there are some that I'm trying to remember myself, but he got the gist.

Vinny looks somewhere between being on the verge of bursting into flames and throwing up in the plant behind him. He's always been a caring soul that took on everyone's hurts and struggles. His heart was simply too big.

He flexes his hands and I can tell that they've been in fists the entire time I talked from how red his palms were. "I'm sorry for leaving you alone with that horrible excuse of a man," he mumbles out.

"Vinny, I wouldn't have listened to you, anyway. You know that," I comfort, reaching out to grab his wrist.

He lets out a scoff. "You wouldn't have had to listen if I showed up and got you out of there."

"Vinny..." I trail off.

"I have played so many shows in LA in the past five years or been on so many connecting flights... trust me, I would have gotten you out." He looks me dead in the eyes and tears tease his waterline but don't fall.

"It wasn't your responsibility, Vin." He shudders under my touch for some reason. "It was your responsibility to find a happy life for yourself and that meant getting space from me. If you're truly happy, then how can I be upset about that?"

He seems to really think about that for a second, like the thought of placing your happiness before someone else's is the worst, nausea-inducing thing you could ever say to him. But it clears as fast as it happens and he's fidgeting with his coffee cup again.

"To be honest, Sedona, I care so deeply about you and it's something that I wish I could turn off but I can't. I've missed you, but I wasn't ready for you at all to show back up and I'm just confused."

"Confused on what?" I urge him forward, knowing something is heavy on his mind.

He rakes his hair back, a sea of just cherry red for a moment before the strands find their designated spots again. "I cut you out of my life for a valid reason and I just..." he huffs out a huge breath. "I'm caught off guard and it feels like a dam has been broken in me. This week has been hard."

"Me too," I offer.

He starts and stops trying to find the right words for a few minutes and I let him. I was a bomb in his life that he wasn't prepared for, just like he was with me. "I need some time to really think about it. I care about you and I'm sorry for everything you've been through, but I have a lot to process."

I nod, trying to ward away the tears that are arriving too quickly. "That's okay," I say, gathering my coffee to throw away with a slight tremor in my hand and stand up. He stands quickly, confusion dancing in his eyes. He catches my wrist before I can walk away and pulls me in for a bone-crushing hug. I melt into him immediately, as easy as I always have. It occurs to me that maybe the home I was searching for was this feeling right here and I don't know what to do with that information.

"I'm happy that you're safe now," he says into my hair; he's about six inches taller than me now, which is a few more than he was in high school. I just nod into his chest before pulling away. "I'll reach out to you soon," he promises. I nod again and turn on my heel and to my rental car, knowing that it's okay if he didn't.

-

The next week comes and goes too quickly and I am now in my brand new gentrified apartment. It feels almost too sterile, too new. I would have relished in the feeling of this when I was in LA, but now that I have been in an actual home again with some time showing on it... the new feeling of this is losing its appeal.