Thick As Blood {A Menendez Brothers Fic}

24. That's When I Knew

(August 20th, 1989)
With blood soaked clothing and a racing heart from what I had done, my breathing completely accelerated in a sudden panic mode from the sight of my fathers more than wounded body. Terrified out of my mind, I ran up the stairs with blood covering both of my hands from the close proximity of my father and I, his pleas to live not enough to stop myself from doing so. Everything happened so fast, his hands attacking my body in utter destruction to harm me more than he ever had before. But, it happened. I shot him. Without a second thought in close proximity. He went down immediately. But begged.

"Ana, PLEASE!!" Hearing his desperate pleas in my mind mere seconds after the events that would change the course of my life forever,  had tears cascading down my face in utter horror of what I had done. I did it. I finally did it. I did what even my Aunt Clara knew I would do some day. I killed him. I did it, because he took my mom from me. He took..... Aunt Clara.
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(Two Months Before, at the Party)
The most beautiful music began to play within the confines of the more than suffocating house Erik and I found ourselves wanting to escape, hearing the soft hum of the melody mingling with the night air from our place amongst the outdoor lights and beautiful flowers that clearly had love and care put into them.

"Finally, alone at last. And able to actually breathe." Erik softly chuckled from my tense words, but immediately began to ease once he brought me into his arms, one lacing around my waist, the other holding up my hand. And I swore, he looked like a prince in that moment, just as he always does. Perfectly dressed in a suit that only complimented him more and more, his brown hair beautifully styled with his illuminated blue eyes gazing into mine with so much tender love and care.

" Just fell, don't know why
Something's there we can't deny
And when I first knew
Was when I first looked at you"

Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, started to make its way to our ears with big smiles plastered on our faces, something we only occasionally get to show. And that's when we are together. The words really sunk into my heart, knowing that the first time we ever made eye contact, is when I felt what I'm feeling right now. That we would be more than just neighbors, friends. But lovers. Soulmates. When I first looked at him, I felt my whole world shift, as cheesy as that sounds.

"If I haven't said it yet, you're the most beautiful woman, Ana. Don't ever forget that." Tears softly brimmed my eyes from just how sweet Erik genuinely is, never wavering even with all that's happened to him. This just signified what I'd always known. He's the one for me. And nothing, could change that. No circumstance, no obstacle, nothing could ever change what we have.

"And don't you ever forget how much I love you. You have become such a massive part of my life, my world. Everything happened so fast. But, when we first met, I knew there was going to be something there. Because...... because I let myself have it. I told myself not to push you away. Because we both deserve love." We started to dance with my words swirling around us, the soft melody bringing us closer and closer together during our dance of love and passion. I always reminded him that he's truly loved, more than I could ever describe, or put into full words. That he deserves love. I say this to him every single day because he needs to hear it.

"You never have to be scared with me. Or of me. I love you so much, beautiful." And then, we kissed. Under the moonlit sky, the stars shining in the already beautiful night. My heart utterly consumed with him, I knew this was where I was always meant to be.
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(Later That Night)
We had decided to leave not long after our dance, sneaking away in a cab we decided to call so no one would even think it was us to begin with. All I know, is that we just didn't want to be there. Eventually, Lyle brought a sleepy Ava home who like us, was not having a good time. I knew there would be consequences for what we had decided. Dad would have already noticed I was gone before the deed was done. But in the moment, I didn't care.

No words had been spoken for so long. My elegant dress had slowly slipped down my body and to the floor, his fingertips sending nothing but shivers down my spine from just his mere touch. Our eyes, full of love for one another, stayed connected the entire time. For so long, we battled to even have physical intimacy, fearful out of our minds for what we'd been through. Especially Erik. But eventually, we knew neither one of us would hurt the other. I reassured him as much as possible that my touch, was meant to be sweet and kind. That no matter what, I would never harm him. And he believes me. Because he knows what he means to me. He sees it in my eyes.

"I hope you know, just how important you are to me." Erik practically whispered through a smile that shined brighter than the sun, my eyes gleaming in that moment just from his words alone. Laying softly beneath him, with gentle love and care, he made sure to show me what it means to be loved by a real man.

"Erik— you're my whole heart." I softly said from the way his touch was making me feel, consumed in the utter bliss that was Erik.
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(The Next Morning)
A soft smile lingered on my lips once I sat at the dining room table for breakfast the next morning, noting Ava was already sitting there with her usual plate of pancakes she loved. She immediately jumped for joy when she saw me, her eyes practically beaming with happiness.

"Hi sissy!" I reached over and softly kissed the top of her head with a tender smile directed at her, starting to eat the bowl of fruit I decided to have for the morning ahead. Memories lingered in my mind of the night before, wishing Erik was here at the moment. But alas, he snuck home super early this morning so we wouldn't get caught. Funny how two now adults, have to sneak around because our parents are awfully controlling.

"Good morning girls. Sleep well?" And then the entire mood shifted upon my fathers arrival at the table, his usual newspaper and coffee sitting on the table waiting for him. In hand, Helen set down his plate, an omelet he usually asked for that was made beautifully for just being food.

"Yes." Was all I could muster, seeing the way he was eyeing me. But something in his smile, seemed entirely sinister. Scary, even. Like he was hiding something from me. But, was proud of it.

"Breaking news! The body of a woman was discovered this morning in Santa Monica. She reportedly drowned."

I heard the headline from the tv that Helen had turned on in the den for my dads usual news watching routine on weekends, standing along with him and Ava to walk to the room to watch the news report, a heavy heart for the family of the woman it may be. Then, the phone would ring. I almost couldn't remember what happened after I had answered, the words spoken over the line enough to render me unable to move, breathe, function. I fell to the ground, a scream ignited from me that never has happened before.

"ANA!" Helen suddenly appeared from next to me with her arms extended out to me, helping me off the ground and to the steps that led to the second floor to keep me steady.

"Can I call Erik?" I weakly said to Helen, watching as she immediately grabbed the phone and handed it to me, having already dialed the Menendez household number. Shaking, with tears cascading down my cheeks, it worsened when I heard his voice.

"Hello?" Lyle had answered, but got Erik once he heard how I sounded. My voice trembled, barley able to speak.

"Erik....? Aunt Clara is dead."