Thick As Blood {A Menendez Brothers Fic}

25. Therapy

Control had been my fathers ultimate weapon since I could remember. He used it when necessary, which happens to be every single minute of my life. My choice that night to leave the party with Erik? Cost me greatly. I lost my Aunt Clara. He knew that would practically destroy me in every single way imaginable. And I was afraid of what he'd do next.

"Your dad is gone, Ana. You don't have to worry. He's not coming to the appointment. Only we are." Erik gently said with as much confidence as he could possibly muster, my silence that morning enough to cause anyone stress. Erik volunteered to drive me to my appointment, having already known the man I'd be seeing. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Erik is my safe place. My true home. Ava and I both found a safe haven in Erik and Lyle.

"I'll be lucky if I'm able to say a word without crying. I don't know if I can do this, Erik." I softly said with my bowl of usual fruit I eat for breakfast still sitting before me, not in the mood to even eat. I felt incredibly sick to my stomach, and had for two days now. And I didn't see any horizon where I'd heal in sight.

"I'll be right there with you. I may not be able to go into the room with you. But, I'll be there. Just think of that. As if I'm sitting right next to you, holding your hand. Because believe me, I'm not going anywhere." Tears welled in my eyes without a single thought, never fully understanding how I was lucky enough to ever cross paths with someone as incredibly sweet as Erik.

"Erik is your prince, sissy!" I chuckled through the tears from Ava's sweet words, softly ruffling her hair in a loving manner. She's been struggling as well, but trying her best to make her big sister feel better. For being so young, she's so sophisticated.

"That's where you're correct, my little peanut." My eyes immediately locked with the warm, blue ones of Erik, the mere way  he looked at me enough to tell me what I already knew. I could see forever in him.

"We're meeting Lyle later to go see a movie. That should cheer us all up. Even if it's only for a little bit." I couldn't help but to grin from the idea the guys had set up for us after my appointment that my father insisted I do in his attempt at controlling me further. He didn't want his favorite torture object dead from a choice I had thought about so many times. No. He wanted me around, just to harm further. And I was afraid that next? He'd conspire with Jose to rid Erik, Lyle, Ava, and i of each other.

"We can't wait. I guess I better get moving, huh?" Helen had tried to get me to eat something by making up a fruit bowl, full of all my favorites. But, it didn't work. I felt horrible for seeming like a little rich, entitled bitch the last couple days. But, I couldn't bring myself to do much. The most I did was sneak to see Erik, had a lengthy conversation with Lyle and him both because they thought I was going to do something stupid. They honestly saved me. And Ava. Her face forever appears in my mind, telling me she, Erik, and Lyle are the reasons I have to keep fighting. So I do. And will. I can't leave them.

"I know it's stressful. But, it can help. I know your dad..... he's making you do it. And that's why I'm driving you. Because I can't let you be the next one on the news." Erik said before softly kissing my lips once I stood from my chair, his tender gesture enough to render me to his mercy. Erik is another form of therapy for me. Simply because he brings me back down to earth, a special part of it where I know I can survive.

"Ewwww. Do you show Lyle love like that?" With Ava's question directed at me, I nearly choked on air. But the pure humor on Erik's face was enough to make me blush. That's when I realize she's just a kid, especially when she asks questions like that.

"Just Erik, peanut. But, I do love Lyle. Just as a big brother. Okay?" She simply nodded with an innocent expression on her face, feeling Erik's arms wrapping around my waist to bring me closer to him, providing an Eskimo kiss in the way we have grown accustomed to doing. With my nerves completely rattled, this is exactly what I needed.
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(Bedford Drive: One Hour Later)
Dr. Oziel had come highly recommended by the Menendez Family, something my father was more than willing to accept when it came from Jose. I on the other hand, wasn't so comfortable having my mental state mentioned to others. Especially Jose and Kitty. They could use that against me. And I didn't like that notion. My father only wanted this done so he'd look like the perfect father, wanting nothing more than for his daughter to be safe. But in reality? He could care less.

"Miss Rosenfeld? Are you ready?" I had quickly looked to Erik in a sort of panic from the thought that this was really happening, that I was even here because of something so horrible that had happened in my life. All because she was taken away for a choice I made.

"Yes. I think so....." Erik had been holding my hand during the duration of sitting in the waiting room, his little reassuring smile helping me build up a slight smile of my own upon entering what I learned was Dr. Oziel's office. With a racing heart, I sat down on the couch close to the chair he chose to occupy directly across from me. Fiddling with the hem of my dress, I knew I had to speak today. And I wasn't looking forward to it.

"I can see you're incredibly nervous. Don't worry. This is a safe place. Let's start from wherever it is you'd like. Okay?" My eyes locked with his, noting the pad and pen in his lap that was void of notes. Thankfully, he hadn't written down how nervous I truly am. And to know I had to methodically think of what I was saying, very carefully because who's to say my father isn't sneaky, even with patient confidentiality. 

"I guess...... I'm just sad. Angry. I haven't been eating because I can't bring myself to do it." But I couldn't explain why i couldn't. Because I'd have to say I thought it was my fault. And that would lead to numerous things being said that could endanger everyone I care about and love even further.

"Is this because of the loss of your Aunt?" He knew, not the why and how, but just knew she was the reason. My father most likely made up some bullshit story.

"Yes..... losing her— my mom— my best friend from Florida. I—I just don't want to lose anyone else." I said in such a low tone, but loud enough for him to hear. Never once writing a single thing down, he simply listened, a tape recorder recording my words. I didn't object because I knew I wouldn't implement myself. He wouldn't catch me saying something I shouldn't.

"And you're scared you will?" I looked to my feet, red colored heels the only thing in sight atop his very clean flooring.

"Yes....." Was all I uttered, the sound of the recording machine the only thing heard after. It was the truth. I am scared. Every single day. And it will only get worse.