EX-istential Crisis

Chapter 21: The Night of Confessions

As the barbecue came to a close and everyone felt full and satisfied, Ran, always full of energy, grinned mischievously and suggested, "We should do a sharing part!"

Beru's eyes lit up. "Oooh, that's gonna be interesting," he said, immediately intrigued.

Everyone else exchanged curious glances, wondering where this was headed. Nelly, with a dramatic flair, leaned forward and said in a serious tone, "What if we share our biggest regrets?"

He looked around at everyone, trying to make the moment feel profound, but Ainslein was having none of it. She threw a metal bat at him, hitting him on the shoulder. "Stop with the dramatic face, we can all see it!" she scolded.

Nelly winced, rubbing his shoulder. "Aaahh, fck."

Mrs. Gina, who had been rearranging the tables, chuckled. "Isn't that fun? I might join in as well," she said.

The group got even more excited. Aiko and Arisu were the first to jump in, practically shouting, "AAAAHH, let us go first!" They plopped down, all eyes on them.

Aiko started, laughing, "My biggest regret is when I was 7 years old and didn't clean my room. The next day, I had rats!"

Nelly couldn't help but respond sarcastically, "Oh no..." Before he could say more, Arisu kicked him in the face. "As for mine," she added, "having this kind of brother."

Nelly clutched his face dramatically, "Ouchhh, not my family!"

Everyone burst into laughter. Shin, wiping away a tear from laughing, nudged Nelly and said, "You should start, homie."

Nelly sighed deeply, sitting down with an unusually serious expression. His eyes briefly flicked toward Mrs. Gina, who gave him an encouraging nod. "It's fine, Nelly," she said softly.

Taking a deep breath, Nelly began, "Alright... my biggest regret. It's about my ex." He paused, the weight of his words sinking in. "When we first met, I thought it was something real. But looking back now, I realize she treated me more like... a sleeping pill and a therapist."

He glanced at the ground, as if sorting through painful memories. "At the time, she was stuck in a toxic relationship—one where she couldn't leave easily. She was mentally exhausted, and I was the one who helped her escape that. I was the one she came to, to vent, to feel at ease. And I let her because I thought I was helping."

His friends listened in silence as he continued. "We weren't even officially together at first; we were in this weird space of mutual understanding. But after a few months, she finally admitted to me that she hadn't been single the whole time. That she was still in that toxic relationship, using me as an escape."

Nelly clenched his fists. "My biggest regret is that I trusted her too much. I ignored the red flags, told myself it was okay to be her 'safe space' when I was actually losing my own sense of worth. I became her emotional crutch, and in the process, I threw away my own boundaries."

He gave a bitter smile, his voice faltering. "If I'd known then what I know now... maybe I could've been the same old me, the person I used to be before all that."

For a moment, the mood shifted. The light-hearted fun from earlier was replaced by a heavy, thoughtful silence. Everyone was reflecting on what Nelly had shared, knowing it wasn't easy for him to admit.

Shin stretched out, taking a deep breath. "Alright, I'll go next," he began. "I regret not pursuing my hobby of creating rhythms. You know, music was my thing, but back in middle school... people used to call me an emo for it."

He shook his head, a bit of bitterness seeping into his voice. "It was stupid, but it got to me, so I stopped. I wish I hadn't cared what people thought."