"The art of manipulation. My dear pawns, so oblivious to the game being played around them. I am the grandmaster, always thinking several moves ahead. My opponents, mere pieces to be used and discarded at my whim"
"I'll start by making a subtle ope...
Sperm donor🧛🏻😎 (Dad): Get your asses down in the living room as soon as possible!!
Ball of sunshine 🌞 🤸🏻 (Marlow): Coming through.... Make way gentlemen and gentlemen!
Chihuahua🐕 (Arthur): *beaming* you're back Dad? How was the trip? How's the baby? Btw, I'll be down in a minute. Ooohh....... From the looks of it, who do you think is the father of the baby?
Sperm donor🧛🏻😎 (Dad): Slow the fuck down, Arthur..... Jayce is fine. He's currently snuggling the couch, sound asleep. As for the father, let's wait for the DNA results.
Dictator of the family🤴🏻🧑🏻⚖️ (Heloix): DO NOT MAKE ANY SOUND WHATSOEVER, or else you'll find a bullet in your head as my return gift.
Ball of sunshine 🌞 🤸🏻 (Marlow): Awwww...... Why do you have to be such a buzz kill, Loix?
Silent killer 🔪😄 (Aziel): Hmm... Sus 🧐
Super-hero doctor 🏥🧑🏻⚕️ (Orson): Just got out from a surgery Dad. On my way home. See ya there in 10.
Grumpy shrimp🤬🦐 (Micah): *groaning* Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep here.
Mother hen🐔🤗 (Nerio): MICAH STEPHANO ARZHEL!! You still sleeping?!!! It's 1 PM for fuck's sake! You better be in the living room within the next five minutes, or else you can kiss your motorbike and car keys goodbye for a week!
Grumpy shrimp🤬🦐 (Micah): For the billionth time Nerio, I'M NOT A CHILD! You can't take away my stuff even when I'm a freaking ADULT!
Mother hen 🐔 (Nerio): Oh, is that so? I thought you were still 15? Sleeping in, throwing tantrums, beating random people up? If you're a freaking adult, then BEHAVE LIKE ONE!
Chihuahua🐕 (Arthur): Aww mann! We're out of popcorn. Orsie can you bring me some on the way back? 🥺🥺 I don't wanna watch this interesting drama unfold without munching on some buttery popcorn.
Super-hero doctor 🏥🧑🏻⚕️ (Orson): *amused* I'm pretty sure you were born with fully functional legs. Put them to use, lazy ass.
Moody gym rat 🏋🏻😮💨 (Asher): Sheesh guys, my fling is trynna finish me off over here. Can you quarrel later? Your bickering is turning me off.
Silent killer🔪😑 (Aziel): 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
Technophile🧑🏻💻🫨 (Magnus): Eww eww ewww...... Did NOT need to know that!
Moody gym rat 🏋🏻😮💨 (Asher): *rolling eyes* You guys are behaving as if you're pure virgins.
Sperm donor🧛🏻😎 (Dad): WHY AM I ONLY SEEING AZIEL IN THE LIVING ROOM?!!! All of you, come down RIGHT NOW, or else Heloix...... State the verdict.
Dictator of the family🤴🏻🧑🏻⚖️ (Heloix): No cars, no bikes, no phones, no laptops or computers, no TV, no video games, no Xbox and no girls for a month.
Ball of sunshine 🌞 🤸🏻 (Marlow): *jaw on the fucking floor* damnnn.......
Super hero doctor 🏥🧑🏻⚕️ (Orson): Dad, the traffic's hectic. It might take me around 20 minutes to get back.
Sperm donor 🧛🏻😎 (Dad): No worries, son. Take your time.
Grumpy shrimp 🤬🦐 (Micah): UNBELIEVABLE!!
Moody gym rat 🏋🏻😮💨 (Asher): And here I thought that parents were supposed to be impartial.
Chihuahua🐕 (Arthur): Dad, I'm in the washroom. Be there in 5. Can you send a picture of Jayce?
Sperm donor 🧛🏻😎 (Dad):
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Mother hen 🐔 (Nerio): EEEEKKKKK!!!!! HE'S SOO ADORABLE 😍😍😍
Ball of sunshine 🌞 🤸🏻 (Marlow): OHH MYYY GWWADDD!!! He's sooo tiny and cute as fuck!!
Dictator of the family🤴🏻🧑🏻⚖️ (Heloix): Yeah.... Thank goodness someone in this family got Dad and mom's good genes apart from me.
Silent killer🔪😑 (Aziel): 😒😒😒
*Soon enough everyone is gathered in the living room except Asher*
Chihuahua🐕 (Arthur): Woahhh!!! Loix, I see you're such a hypocrite. You threaten us about safe sex practices while YOU fuck around like a damn horny teen and come back years later with a full grown child!!!!! That's just ABSURD!!
Technophile🧑🏻💻🫨 (Magnus): Why does that girl look like you, Loix?
Silent killer🔪😑 (Aziel): You guys can talk, y'know? You don't have to text him when he's standing right in front of you.
Super hero doctor 🏥🧑🏻⚕️ (Orson): Dad? Heloix? What's going on?
Sperm donor 🧛🏻😎 (Dad): Just a second, Orson. ASHER ARMANI ARZHEL!!! GET YOUR HORNY ASS DOWN! RIGHT NOW!! Tell your fling to suck you off later. We had a long flight. We are tired and they need to rest.
Moody gym rat 🏋🏻😮💨 (Asher): Okay okay, geez! Chill out old man! I'm here, I'm here.
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HELLO FELLOW BOOKWORMS!! 📚🐛
This was SOO FUN to write!
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