• The Way Back Home •

9

"Adi, when can I go home? It's been four days already..." Ram desperately asked his friend. He hated hospitals and everything about them.

Putting the book he was reading aside and crossed his arms. Then he challenged Ram, "If you can turn to your side on your own, then you can go home right now."

Ram blinked. Then he tried to turn. He turned as well but as slowly as a sloth on heavy medication. Maybe, he truly was that.

"I can!" Ram told Aditya while lying on the side. "See."

Aditya snorted. "Without wincing in pain. Conditions apply."

"Kya yaar?!" Ram made a sad face.

Aditya kept the book aside. He got up, went to Ram's bed and sat down on the small stool. Holding Ram's hand, he gently assured, "Soon, Ram. I have spoken with the Doctor. By the end of this week, we can go back home. And you will come with us. I don't want any arguments."

Ram blinked again. Truth be told, he was dreading going back to his own home. Just the thought of stepping inside the mansion, now knowing that Shivina wasn't physically present in this world, staying in a house where Nandini had lost her daughter now; felt crumbling. He couldn't even begin to imagine how was he going to react on seeing Shivina's room now. He honestly didn't even want to think about it. Sure he was taking the coward's path but he truly wanted a moment's peace. And where else could he find that? Only Brinda and Aditya could give him that.

So he nodded. "Okay."

Yet, the storm, the tempest in his chest and mind remained. He didn't know how had he spent all these years without Shivina. He didn't know how had he managed. There were millions of questions in his mind and yet, there were none. He felt so weak physically that he didn't want to think about it anymore.

But yet, he stuttered and asked Aditya. "Adi. How...I..."

Aditya exhaled noisily. He then sat down on the bed and placed a hand on Ram's chest.

"Ram. What happened with Shivina was grim. But none of it was intentional. I mean, no one wanted her dead. That's for sure. And of course, you were shattered. But you pulled through for Shubham and Nandini Aunty's sake."

Ram held his hand. "Five years seems like a lot. It seems like a long time."

"Because it is a long time," said Aditya and patted Ram's shoulder. "But can I ask you something though? Why aren't you speaking with Nandini aunty?"

Ram sighed. He didn't know either. It was another thing he didn't have an answer for.

"I don't know. I don't feel good around her. Whenever I see her, it feels like my head will explode. I just feel like I will have a panic attack."

"Why is that?" questioned Aditya.

Ram rubbed his forehead. "Why is that? Why is that? Who knows?"

Aditya paused. After a long introspecting pause, he looked at Ram again and said, "Can I force you into something?"

Ram nodded and weakly smiled. "Tere liye kuch bhi Adi."

Aditya also smiled. He rubbed Ram's cheek with his finger and suggested, "You need therapy. We need to go to a good counsellor and a psychiatrist. You have endured too much Ram. You have to unpack it, you have to resolve it. Even this memory loss is because of unresolved issues. You need to talk. You need to vent. You need to share. You cannot suffer in silence anymore."

Then he took Ram's hand in his and held it close to his heart. "So, please. Do this for us."

Ram could have only one response to that. "Okay."