In the car, Louis just could not stop thinking about the most stupid things ever. He knew him, and Harry’s relationship was just a screw-up. Management would never let them do anything and always got the better of them .
Maybe it was kind of his fault and maybe even harry’s they’ll never know. All he knows is that it never worked and that it is over between them. Oh but how he missed his tight hugs, his gentle touches, his warm cuddles, his soft kisses, his thoughtful gift’s, his laughter, his beautiful voice singing in the early mornings when he takes a shower, his tattooed body that he could stare at when he changed and there is so many more that he could think of at the moment.
He suddenly remembered why they had broken up again. Stupid S*mon C*owel, it's all his fault, he thought to himself. If he would have just let them be them they would still be together he would still be enjoying harry’s soft kisses in the morning and tight warm cuddles in bed and so on but s*mon just had to interrupt all the time. It was like he was jealous or something.
‘come on, Louis, you can do it’ he thought to himself in the car. He was on his way driving to Harry’s house. He suddenly came to a stop the street before Harry’s. “why are you doing this? Why do you wanna go through that again” he said to himself, staring at harry’s street.
He suddenly screamed a bit and started the car up again. “ Deep breath, deep breath” he said to himself while taking a deep breath. “You can do this. You CAN do this” he tried to build enough gut to actually go up to the guys house and nocking on the door, but he just couldn’t. He just couldn’t put himself through that again.
“Louis if you love that man like you think you love him, you will get out of this f-”its there when he saw the guy the beautiful man come out of his house. “oh shshs!” he started to panic and drove the car as fast as possible away.
But for @*#$ sake, he screwed up.
Instead of going in the opposite direction, he went past harry’s house! “sh- I hope he didn’t see me. How stupid can you be Tomlinson!!!!” he got so frustrated at himself for like no reason. “what if he saw you? What do you do now!?” he parked the car in his driveway, hurried into the house, and just passed out on the couch.
He suddenly got woken by the sound of his ringtone. His first thought was to ignore it, but then he thought maybe it was one of his sisters asking about earlier. He looked at his phone “oh shhhh**“ it was Harry
“no no no no no” he started to panic, knowing he must have seen him earlier but soon realised he needed to pick up. “ hello” he said. He was so scared. Why would Harry be calling him he never calls him the last time they spoke was when they were still in the band.
“Hi” Harry says back at him. “erm, strange of you to call ’’ Louis said with an awkward little laugh at the end. “yeah yeah its um, it's been a while. I just thought um how how have you been?” The stuter in Harrys voice tells Louis that he is just as nervous as him.
“actually you know what? I'm just gonna gut right into it” he said as he would just like to get it over with. There is no time for stalling. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately tommo”
Louis couldn’t believe what he had just heard. That Harry has been thinking about him two, maybe it’s a sign someone is trying to give them. NO Louis NO don’t even start with that again, not after what happened last time Louis thought to himself.
“Lou you still there?” Harry asked, wondering why Louis haven’t even said anything the last minute. Considering that’s Louis Tomlinson were talking about, that’s weird not saying anything. “erm, yeah, yeah, still here, Haz still here.” ”ok good I thought I lost you there for a minute.” Harry said, trying to avoid the topic for a bit
“Haz I don’t really know how to respond to that” he was dripping sweat, nervous shaking beyond stop. He could hear his own heartbeat. Neither of them are really sure what to say, so they stay quiet for a while.
“I saw you earlier today, driving down my street.” Harry broke the silence between them.
“Oh you did. I was kind of hoping you didn't” Louis felt embarrassed. “yeah” Harry let out a little laugh, and then his tone got series when the next few words came out.
“Lou you don’t know how many times I have hopped to see your car drive past my house, or even just past my street. But today, when I finally saw your car and saw it just drove past, not even looking in my direction, that really really hurt.” it almost sounded like Harry held back a tear.
“Lou that really hurt, and I just don’t know why, I mean, we have no connection between us anymore. We have nothing I know!” and there goes the tears.
“I just really have been thinking of you a lot these days, and I really just miss you, tommo. I really do. I do not know what to do anymore. That’s why I called you, and there's something else, lou, I think I…”
I think I know what this is going to be. Louis thinks to himself. If this is what he thinks it is, maybe it's better if he just hung up the phone now.
“haz wait!"
Louis cuts Harry off before he could say too much.
“Harry”
Louis says in a very, very, very soft voice, getting a bit of a tear in his eyes himself. “Harry please don’t do this. Please don’t say what you were about to say. Please Harry don’t. PLEASE!” and there goes Louis tears shattering all over his face begging Harry not to say those words he knows he actually really wants to hear.
There was no more control of his emotions. There was a moment of silence over the phone. All you could hear was the sobbing and the tears of both Louis and Harry. When finally Louis broke the silence.
“Please Harry, you can't say that, Harry, please.”
You could hear Harry doubting about saying what he was about to say, but then everything that lou begged for nor to hear came out of Harrys mouth.
“I love you Lou”
Louis had no response to that what so ever, you could just hear both of them sobbing and crying so so loud.
Nobody said anything for a whole minute long, so Louis just hung up the phone and started crying out loud like he’s never cried before. He has never ever felt this way before. In his mind, there were so many things going on at this very moment. There is no way him and Harry can ever get back together, not after what happened last time. But there was just something in his heart that never stopped beating for Harry and is now beating with every single little piece of power that he has. He knows he also wants to be with Harry he really really does, but he can't. Even though everything in him wants to pick up his phone and call Harry back and tell him that he still loves him two. Telling him that he keeps having these dreams about him, and he doesn’t know if it's supposed to be a sign or what. He wants Harry to know that he loves him two and that he doesn’t know how to deal with these feelings alone. But he keeps himself from doing that and would rather just fall asleep on the couch.
