Even in Death (#Wattys2015)

Picking Up The Pieces

After I paid for the hoodie with Hunter's trusty credit card, I quickly hauled my way to the jeep where he was waiting for me.

"Who was that girl?" He looked at me accusingly.

"Girl? What girl?" I swallowed a knowing lump in my throat, suddenly feeling very parched.

"The girl who made you turn beet red. I saw that before I decided to give you some privacy."

I pulled out my cell-phone and debated sending Bailey a text, but then thought twice. I didn't want her to think I was weird. Hunter slowly pulled out of the parking lot, softly tapping the steering wheel along to the beat of the music.

"Hunter can I ask you something?"

He turned the radio down. "Yeah?"

"Have you ever, I don't know, seen anything, paranormal before?"

Hunter practically slammed on his breaks. "Willow, are you saying that now you're seeing things?"

This was a bad idea. Telling Hunter was a bad idea. I felt a cold breeze surround me and suddenly Carson's lips were pressed against my ear, "Don't tell him. It'll be our little secret. Even in death, baby..." I sucked in the breath I was holding and released it through clenched teeth.

"No, silly. I was just curious. The cashier was talking about it." Shit. He was never going to believe that.

I snuck a sideways glance at him and he just nodded his head and turned the music up a little louder. The cold breeze still hadn't gone away. I felt a hand graze my shoulder and knew it was Carson. She still hadn't left.

A million emotions were playing through my head. Why could I see her? Why did she show up when she did? Am I crazy? I had an unsettling feeling that my girlfriend was going to keep true to her promise, especially in death.

A few minutes later we pulled into the driveway and Hunter helped me carry and put away all the new things he bought me. He also brought along a trash bag and made me throw away everything I owned that was 'too black' as he called it.

"Thanks for today, bro. Really. I didn't realize how badly I needed this." I felt so happy all day, until I saw Carson. Who, by the way, was still with me. I felt her standing by my side.

Hunter patted my back and smiled. "No problem, sis. I'm glad that things are getting a little easier. We all miss you. It's nice to see that someone could bring the old Willow back, even if it was just for a moment."

The cold breeze left my side immediately and was replaced with the stale humid air. I cursed myself silently for opening the doorway for any conversation mentioning Bailey. Carson would never approve of me thinking of someone else so soon.

I nodded my head and Hunter turned on his heel and left the room. I wanted to reach out to Carson. I needed to see if it was real or if I really was just hallucinating. I timidly whistled the tune to the song she wrote me.

Cold air flooded my room and sent shivers down my spine. "You're here." I whispered.

I looked into the mirror hanging above my bed and the sight of her face startled me. She nodded and sent one of her killer smiles through the looking glass. "Can't....see me....for long....only....sometimes." I hear her broken whisper in my head.

"So this is how we communicate? You can talk to me inside of my head? Carson, this isn't real. This can't be real."

Her image disappeared and I felt arms wrap around my waist. "Oh goddess, this is real."

Tears slowly started pouring down my face. Something felt so right, but something also felt so wrong. This is what I wanted, to see Carson again. I wanted her back in my life. But I was slowly starting to come around again. She's dead. I need to move on, don't I?

A breeze moved through my room and knocked down a book from my bookshelf. I picked it up and inside the cover I saw a faded message: even in death, baby, I'm not going anywhere. Just as soon as I read the message, it disappeared. I swallowed a lump in my throat and the air around me returned to its normal temperature.

This definitely wasn't right. I will always love Carson. But how can she haunt me this way? I can't continue putting my life back together if she continues showing up. I would never be happy.

I decided to text Bailey. I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick message:
-hey, it's willow. got the teal hoodie, you have good taste.

I hit send and plopped down on my bed, waiting for a response.