Crimson Bonds

Changes

The road ahead is dark, the night closing in around us as the SUV hums along the highway. Everything I've learned so far is swirling in my mind—a connection to their world, being hunted because of it, and now... this. I'm some sort of tool, a pawn in a game I didn't even know I was playing.

I shrink a little in my seat, the weight of it all pressing down on me like a heavy blanket. They've told me enough to make sense of why I'm a target, but not enough to make me feel in control. And now, the worst part is that I have to consider the one thing I never thought I'd even entertain.

Becoming a vampire.

I can't stop thinking about it. The idea is horrifying—turning into one of them, losing my humanity, my life. But with Selene, the rogues, and everyone else fighting to use me for their own purposes, I'm starting to realize that my options are limited. If they get their hands on me, they'll turn me into something dangerous—into something I have no control over.

But what if I took that choice into my own hands?

I stare out the window at the blur of trees and highway lights, my mind racing. Could I really do it? Could I give up my humanity of my own free will instead of being forced into it?

The idea makes me feel sick. Becoming a vampire would mean letting go of everything I've ever known—my life, my friends, my career. It would mean becoming something else, something darker. And yet... if I let them turn me, I wouldn't just lose my humanity. I'd lose myself. I'd become their tool, their weapon, and I wouldn't be able to stop it.

Better them, than the rogues. They have been kind enough.

At least if I chose to become one of them on my own terms, I might have some measure of control.

I glance at Dante in the driver's seat. Could I live like them? Could I embrace the darkness that comes with immortality?

What would I become?

I shake my head, trying to push the thought away, but it clings to me, refusing to let go. What if becoming a vampire isn't the end of everything? What if it's just the next step? I'd be stronger, faster. I wouldn't have to rely on them to protect me—I could protect myself.

I could fight back.

The idea is both terrifying and tempting. If I become one of them on my own terms, I'd be able to stand against the rogues, against Selene. I wouldn't be a victim anymore.

But at what cost?

I close my eyes, trying to steady my thoughts, but I can't help imagining what it would feel like—letting go of my human life, giving in to the power that comes with being one of them. Would I lose myself entirely? Would I become like the rogues, driven by hunger and violence? Or could I keep the part of me that's still human, the part of me that wants to fight for something better?

I don't know. And that's what scares me the most.

As the car speeds through the night, I can feel Lila's gaze on me. She hasn't said anything, but I can tell she knows what I'm thinking. Maybe she's been through this before—this moment of questioning, of wondering whether to hold on to the fragile thread of humanity or to let go and embrace something else.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Lila's voice is soft, barely audible over the hum of the engine.

I knew what she meant immediately. I open my eyes and meet her gaze. There's no judgment in her expression, only understanding. "You knew?"

She nods. "I could tell. It's only natural, considering everything you've been through. But it's not a decision to take lightly, Olivia."

"I know," I whisper, my throat tight. "But if I don't make that decision, someone else will."