𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓱𝓲𝓶 ✓

iii. proverbs 14:13

Trigger warning: anxiety, depression, homophobia, family/child violence

"Sigurado ka ba? Pwede namang hindi muna pag-usapan. You still got a fever..." aniko matapos pakiramdaman ang noo at leeg ni B gamit ang likod ng aking kanang palad. Now we're both sitting by the side table — I settled on the vacant chair to his left.

"Yes. I'll be fine. Took some meds already, right? So better if we can talk about it na." Although his eyes were obviously tired, he put on a smile as usual.

"B... I already told you. That's not what's important to me right now."

"I know... But it's the least I could do for you... Besides, hindi rin ako makakatulog kung hindi natin mapag-uusapan. Feel ko kasi jinujudge mo na ko nang malala, hindi ka lang nagsasabi." He gave me a suspicious look as he playfully teased me.

"Hoy grabe ka naman. Hindi ako ganun noh! Curious ako oo, pero hindi kita jinudge..." Defensive kong tanggi sa sinabi niya as I decided to play along with him.

He chuckled for a bit. "Todo tanggi ah! I was only teasing you... Alam ko namang hindi ka ganun. So thank you, Cy. Sobrang na-appreciate ko."

That was unexpected. He caught me off-guard. "W-Walang anuman. M-Malakas ka sakin eh." I was stuttering. G*go nakakahiya. Bakit kasi nambibigla 'tong si B?

Muli na naman siyang humagikgik, malamang dahil sa naging reaksiyon ko. "Kalma, bro. Ako lang 'to." He teasingly grinned and quickly pinched my nose.

"G*go ka!" Tanging naibulalas ko dala ng pinaghalong kaba at pagkagulat. Agad rin akong napaiwas ng tingin mula sa kanya. Damang-dama ko rin ang pagbilis ng kabog ng aking dibdib at pagliyab ng aking mga pisngi. T*ngina ano ba 'tong nangyayari sa'kin? Lagi na lang ganito sa tuwing binibiro ako ni B. Kailangan kong kumalma...

Rinig ko naman ang kanyang masayang pagtawa na batid ko ring pilit niyang pinipigilan. It took a while before he finally calmed down... "Uy galit ka ba? Sorry... It's my bad. Got carried away... Forgive me, Cy..." I heard him apologize as he gently held on to the right sleeve of my shirt.

Hayyy. Ano namang laban ko sa kanya kung maglalambing siya nang ganyan? Wow! Lambing nga ba? Tindi ko ring mag-assume eh. Nakakainis kasi iba 'yung epekto sakin ng mga sinasabi at inaasta ni B! Alam ko namang walang ibang kahulugan sa kanya ang mga bagay-bagay bilang natural na sa kanya ang mga ito. But I couldn't help but think otherwise. What if... Agggh! Bwisit! So frustrating...

I took a deep breath. "Hindi ako galit. Nabigla lang ako sa ginawa mo. Pasensya na..." Ashamed, I kept my eyes away from his gaze.

"Pasensya ka na rin. I must've gotten crazy after what happened earlier..." Sandali siyang nanahimik bago muling nagkwento. "Kuya and I had a fight... I mean, we're not that close to begin with, so what did I expect? Pero kasi... Hindi ko naman inakalang aabot kami sa puntong mag-aaway..."

Because of that, I instantly turned around to face him. "Sorry, B. I had no idea... Ayos ka lang ba? Bakit ba kayo nag-away?" I could no longer hide how concerned I was for him.

Ngumiti naman siya na may kasamang pag-iling. "Oh, it's nothing... Just us being brothers I guess... Though I kinda knew it was bound to happen — Because I dreamed of it..." Bumuntong hininga siya bago nagpatuloy. "You see, my dreams predicted scary accurate things. Most of it, bad happenings. As in sobrang tragic na occurrences — I even foresaw my lolo's passing before... And it crept the hell outta me... That's why I never told anyone about it... Except you..."

"B..." Tanging usal ko buhat ng pinaghalong pag-aalala at pagkalito. Hindi ko mawari kung anong nadarama ko ng mga oras na iyon. I wanted to do something for B, but I couldn't figure out what. To make it worse, I wasn't even sure if I should do anything or just stay by his side...