B99 One-Shots

Who? •Amy•

Amy Santiago was in the precinct early, as usual, ready to tackle a fresh stack of reports before the rest of the team filtered in. She had her color-coded pens lined up, a hot cup of coffee beside her, and her planner opened to a day that was blissfully free of surprise meetings or unscheduled emergencies. For once, things felt calm and in control.

But within an hour of everyone else arriving, she started to notice something odd. Rosa was at her desk, laughing at something Hitchcock and Scully were saying—a rare sight. Even Captain Holt had cracked a small smile as he passed by, though he quickly straightened his expression.

Amy leaned over to her partner, Jake Peralta, who had just sat down. "Hey, Jake, what's going on? Everyone seems... weirdly happy this morning."

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Jake replied, looking genuinely surprised. "About (Y/N)?"

Amy blinked. "(Y/N)? Who's (Y/N)?"

Jake gave her a look of disbelief. "(Y/N)! You know, (Y/N)."

She shook her head, clearly confused. "I don't know a (Y/N). Who is he?"

Before Jake could answer, Holt walked over. "Peralta, I need you to review the new surveillance footage for the Westside case," he said, then turned to Amy with a polite nod. "Santiago."

And with that, he was gone, pulling Jake along before he had a chance to elaborate. Amy watched him leave, feeling a gnawing sense of curiosity. Who was (Y/N)? And why did everyone else seem to know exactly who he was?

She glanced across the bullpen and spotted Rosa walking toward the break room. Amy quickly followed, figuring Rosa would be straightforward and maybe give her the full story.

"Hey, Rosa," Amy said as casually as she could manage. "I, uh, heard about (Y/N)?"

Rosa glanced over, her usual unreadable expression in place. "Oh yeah? Crazy, right?"

Amy nodded, pretending to understand. "Totally! Just... super crazy. I mean, how does something like that even happen?"

Rosa smirked and poured herself some coffee. "With (Y/N)? Only he could pull that off." She took a long sip and muttered, "Unbelievable."

Amy's patience was running thin, but she tried to hide it. "Right! That's... so (Y/N) of him. But just to make sure I have all the details... what exactly did he do again?"

But before Rosa could answer, Terry entered the break room. "Rosa, I need you to review the suspect's statement," he said, holding up a file. "It's urgent."

Rosa sighed, giving Amy an apologetic shrug before heading out with Terry. Amy watched her go, feeling her frustration grow. Now Terry knew about (Y/N), too? She needed to get to the bottom of this. How had everyone found out about this mystery person before she had?

She spotted Hitchcock and Scully at their desks and took a deep breath. They weren't her usual go-to for reliable information, but at this point, she was willing to try anything.

"Hey, guys," she said, pulling up a chair. "I heard about (Y/N)..."

Hitchcock chuckled, nudging Scully. "(Y/N), am I right? Classic (Y/N) move."

Scully nodded enthusiastically, chomping on a burrito. "Oh, yeah. (Y/N) really outdid himself this time. I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not."

Amy clenched her fists under the desk, trying to keep her voice even. "Right! But, uh... remind me, what was it again that he did? You know, just in case I missed a detail."

Hitchcock squinted at her. "You don't remember? Wow, Amy, even I remember, and I usually forget everything."

Scully nodded in agreement, then took another massive bite of his burrito. They both fell silent, and Amy waited, expecting more. But neither of them seemed inclined to elaborate.

"Guys?" she prompted. "What exactly did (Y/N) do?"

Just then, Gina walked by, looking smug as usual. "Oh, talking about (Y/N) again? You're all so predictable," she said, rolling her eyes but with a smirk that showed she was just as amused as everyone else.

Amy shot up from her chair, determined. "Gina! Help me out here. Who is (Y/N)?"

Gina gave her a look of mock surprise. "Amy Santiago doesn't know about (Y/N)?" She shook her head, feigning disappointment. "Wow. Must be slipping, Santiago."

Amy crossed her arms. "Gina. I'm serious. I've been trying to figure this out all morning, and no one will tell me anything."

Gina shrugged. "Sorry, gotta go. Can't keep the people of my Instagram waiting." With that, she glided out of the bullpen, leaving Amy staring after her in frustration.

Amy's last hope was Captain Holt. She marched over to his office, knocking firmly before stepping inside. Holt looked up from his paperwork, his expression neutral.

"Captain, I need to know—who is (Y/N)?" Amy asked, hoping he'd understand her desperation.

Holt's face barely shifted, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Ah, (Y/N). Quite a fascinating character."

Amy's heart leapt. Finally, someone who might give her a straightforward answer. "Yes, exactly! Captain, could you just... clarify who he is?"

Holt leaned back, folding his hands. "(Y/N) is, of course, very well-known among the precinct. His recent actions have been the topic of considerable discussion. But you see, Santiago, I am currently quite busy with these reports."

"Right, of course," Amy said, struggling to keep her frustration hidden. "But if you could just... briefly explain?"

Before Holt could reply, the intercom crackled, and Terry's voice boomed, "Captain, we need you in the briefing room. It's urgent."

Holt stood up, offering Amy an apologetic nod. "Duty calls, Detective Santiago. Perhaps another time." And with that, he left.

Amy slumped in a chair, defeated. She was no closer to finding out who this (Y/N) was, and the entire precinct seemed too wrapped up in their own amusement to give her a straight answer.

Just then, Jake walked back in and saw her sitting there, clearly exasperated. "Amy, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him, almost pleading. "Jake, I've been trying to figure out who (Y/N) is all day. Every time I ask, everyone just talks around it or gets called away. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Jake burst out laughing, and it took him a minute to compose himself. "Oh, Amy... (Y/N) isn't a real person."

Amy blinked, completely bewildered. "Wait... what?"

"Yeah, (Y/N) a made-up person we all came up with yesterday. Rosa and I thought it'd be funny to talk about him as if he was real, just to mess with you a little."

Amy's eyes widened in shock, then narrowed. "You mean... all of this has been one big joke? Everyone's been in on it?"

Jake grinned, looking only slightly guilty. "Yep. Holt even came up with some fake backstory for him about how he allegedly stole Rosa's motorcycle once. We didn't think you'd actually spend the whole day trying to figure it out."

Amy crossed her arms, torn between being impressed and furious. "You do realize I wasted hours trying to get to the bottom of this, right?"

"Yeah, but admit it," Jake said, smirking. "You kind of love a good mystery, don't you?"

Amy huffed, rolling her eyes. "Fine. You got me. But just so you know, I'm going to get you back for this. And when I do, you won't see it coming."

Jake chuckled. "Can't wait, Santiago."

As she headed back to her desk, Amy couldn't help but smile despite herself. The 99th precinct was chaotic, frustrating, and, at times, completely ridiculous—but it was also her favorite place in the world. And as much as her team drove her crazy, she knew they'd always be there, ready to pull her into their next ridiculous scheme.