Sickly Intertwined

Chapter Three:

I'm dragging my body up the stairs of our house, mom and dad are out for the weekend, so my sister hosted a party. Called it my "early sweet sixteen." I still have 3 months until I turn 16 but I loved the effort.

I notice the door to my room is open, I still hear the loud cheering coming from downstairs from the party that is still going on. I'm tired so I decided to call it a night. All my friends left about an hour ago and the house was filled with my sister's classmates from college. I stumble to my room and push the door open all the way. My blood runs cold at the sight. My sister, laying on the floor. Eyes open. Lifeless. I see blood pouring out from the gash on her temple.

I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. "HELP!! I NEED HELP!!"

But my lungs are cut off. Nothing is coming out of my mouth. My screams are silent. I can't breathe. I. can't. Breathe. I'm gasping desperately for air as I use my hands to press her temple as hard as I can to stop the bleeding. What should I do? I don't know what to do. How do I help her? I can't breathe. The blood is coming too fast. I can't breathe. She isn't breathing. I need help.

I.

CAN'T.

BREATHE!

I sit up in my bed, gasping for breath. My breaths come out in short, quick, huffs. I try to take a deep breath to calm myself. But I can't get enough air. I yank at the roots of my hair, punch at my legs, trying to do anything to ground myself. Nothing is working.

The door opens, Fawn is suddenly in front of me. She's saying something. I can't hear it, the only thing my mind picks up is the hammer of my heartbeat and the pain growing in my chest from lack of oxygen. I'm beginning to feel lightheaded. I know if I don't calm down soon, I'm going to pass out.

Two pairs of arms are carrying me under my own. A burst of cold water all over my face traveling down my body finally allows me to grasp a deep breath. Blessed, beautiful oxygen. As I greedily take in more and more oxygen into my lungs, I finally assess my surroundings. I was in my shower, the cold water still pouring on my face. Fawn reaches over and turns it off, realizing my breathing has begun to level out.

After taking a few more deep breaths, I realize that it isn't just me and Fawn in the room. Alex is standing in the doorway behind her, examining me. A flat look on his face.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I quickly turn to anger. "Why did you come into my room?! Why couldn't you just leave me alone?" Fawn looks taken aback at my outburst. Alex pushes off the walk and takes a protective step toward her, a confused look covering his face.

"Grace, we hear-" Fawn tries but I cut her off.

"Get out." Fawn stares at me for a second, as if deciding if that is a good idea or not.

"Now!"

The two of them share a look, then walk out of the bathroom, closing my bedroom door as they leave the room all together. I slide down the wall of my shower and cry from embarrassment. I don't even know Alex and now he's seen me at my most vulnerable state. I sit there for a moment, accepting that what's done is done and I stand from the shower and step onto the bathroom tile. My hair, which is now drenched in a mixture of sweat and water, drips onto the floor. I open the cabinet under my sink and grab a towel. I quickly wrap my hair in the towel and walk into my closet to change into some dry clothes.

I walk out of my bathroom and check the time on my clock sitting on the nightstand beside my bed.

5:26 am.

I lay back down in between my sheets that are now drenched in sweat and stare at the ceiling. I know I won't be able to fall back asleep, but I also don't feel like getting up today. I begin to look around my room. My bed, which is pushed into the corner of my room against the window. A white bedspread with white sheets. My vanity along the same wall as my bed, also white. It is covered with makeup products, some open, makeup brushes, a curling iron, and other random things scattered around the surface from getting ready last night. The small pink decorations throughout my room are the only hint of true color throughout the room. The gray walls are the only part of my room that feel remotely me. This whole room is a lie.

Remember what I said earlier about this town being filled with liars and deceptors? I guess I have become one as well. This room, filled with white and pink decorations is meant for someone pure. A college girl who worked hard throughout high school in order to get here. Someone who is kind, happy, and peaceful, not tainted like I am from my past. I threw out all of my old decorations when I moved out for college. I wanted a fresh start. As if filling my room with bright colors would somehow trick my mind into thinking that I'm normal. As if it would help me close my eyes at night and not see my sister's lifeless eyes staring back at me. Taunting me.

If I wouldn't have drank that night, if I wouldn't have left her alone, she wouldn't have

gone into my room looking for me, and she wouldn't have fallen and hit her head on the corner of my desk. She would still be here. With me.

***

I stayed in my bed for the rest of the day. Staring at my gray walls, the only thing in my room bringing me comfort. Noticing the sun had set, and it is now pitch-black outside of my window, I checked the time.

12:54 am.

Even though I haven't slept all day, I'm not even the slightest bit tired. I reach into my nightstand, grabbing out the orange bottle of pills. I read the label.

Doxepin

Take two before bed each night.

The medicine didn't seem to help at all, I still couldn't find it in me to sleep the last few times I've taken it. I'll take a couple extra tonight, I have my midterm exams tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep tonight. I open the lid and pour four onto the palm of my hand. I open the water bottle sitting on my bedside table and place two pills onto my tongue, swallowing. I chase them with water. I repeat this again with the last two.

After about thirty minutes, my body is buzzing, and my eyes are finally beginning to droop. Setting my alarm on my phone for 7:30, I plug it in and set it on my nightstand. Turning the lamp off and lying my head on my pillow. I close my eyes. But before I can form a thought, my body submits to the medication. Sending me into a deep, quiet sleep.

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A/N Thanks for reading!! I feel so bad for Grace y'all have no idea.

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