Dear US President: Mr. Obama,
After we’ve discovered the great love you have in your heart towards Israel, here is what I would like to kindly suggest:
In the United States, there are plenty of vast tracts of land that suffice to establish 50 states of 'Israel'. You could easily take all Zionists there and guess what? You can also receive Abbas as a gift
Take them, and you can spend a lifetime giving them sweet and romantic speeches, as you always do. Of course Sir, you will never complain about the Segregation Wall that would divide your White House into two parts, and you will not burst out in anger if it happens at some point that an American gets killed while crossing “Karm Abu Manhattan“checkpoint, or when “Virginia Strip” is besieged.
Take them Sir, and don’t be surprised when they start making burgers and donuts and claim that they were the ones who originally invented these. In fact, you will also learn that the First Nations – the indigenous people of America - were originally Jews. You will have to accept the fact that the "cowboy" is a very authentic part of their stolen heritage. You will stand accused! And you shall justify it.
Take them, and you will not bother to send huge amounts of money or any murderous weapons any longer. Mr. President, you will take them to the US, where the lands are large and green and the weather is beautiful, because they are - as you know - a superior race, and according to what you mentioned, we are backward and undemocratic states that are not suitable for them.
Our bags have been packed since ages to go back home. Still, their bags will be a gift from you; we are convinced that you won’t cold-shoulder them; this is how you treat your beloved people! And I PROMISE you, that you will be a Hero for the coming twenty years in the eyes of all Arabs.
All we ask for is that you Pick Israel gently, then Twist it, then Lick it - and you won't be greedy, but you will let Congress and the army have a taste too. Then, I challenge you to Dunk it.
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All Rights Reserved by the Author - Ahmad Ashour
translated by : Eman Sourani
