Silver Springs | Dean Winchester

Three

Trigger Warning for drugging and attemped sexual assault. No assault occurs and there is no graphic content, but the topic may be triggering for survivors.

Stevie

We sit together by one of the lookouts in heavy silence until he finally breaks it and I refuse to let him see just how badly he's gotten to me.

"Stevie, you can be mad at me alright," he says, trying to reason with me. "But Mike isn't a good guy."

Dean and I have always outright ignored or danced around anything between us that could be less than familial, but that's changed now. I can still feel his hand on my waist and see the stunned look in his eyes, but I don't necessarily regret any of it.

Still, talking about some asshole's easier for both of us rather than talking about what we actually care about, or at least what I care about.

"I'm not looking to date him, I'm looking for-"

"Sex, I know," he says, more irritably than I expect. "But I know you aren't exactly experienced and he's not the type of guy you want to have your first time with."

My throat tightens. "Why do you think he'd be my first?"

"Because I know you," he says and so I spit it out.

"He wouldn't be my first."

For a moment he doesn't believe me, not until he actually looks at me properly. "Oh."

"I'd just turned eighteen and I felt pathetic," I tell him bluntly. "I wanted to get it over with and so I did, but god it was terrible."

"Terrible?" he questions and despite the tension between us, if there's a single person that I could feel comfortable having this discussion with it's Dean. "What do you mean terrible?"

"It's-"

His face hardens. "He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, no not that sort of terrible," I assure him and he relaxes. "It was embarrassing more than anything else."

"First times always are, that's part of the deal," he says before seeing my expression. "Alright, what was it?"

"It was... brief."

"Brief?" he repeats back. "Like a few minutes?" I don't answer and he asks "A minute?" I don't answer again and he realises. "Ah."

"He was done before he even stuck it in me type of terrible," I tell him with little censorship and he presses his mouth together. "Hell, I was still in a damn dress with my panties down around my ankles and he was pulling his damn pants back up before I knew what was happening."

For a moment he truly doesn't know what to say considering mortified on my behalf, but he doesn't tease me or choose now to try to lecture me like he did back at the house. Instead he levels with me.

"Look, sometimes that sort of thing happens but he didn't even offer to... you know?" I shake my head and he raises his eyebrows. "Not even?" He makes a gesture with his fingers that would have me blushing under different circumstances. "Damn."

"And then the fucker went around telling everyone he rocked my world and I've been too mortified to even think about finding anyone else to do it with," I rant and he listens without judgement. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude about sex. I want to have sex and that's why I went and found some asshole to do it with. Doing what any guy would and just having something casual on the side, but it blew up in my face."

His jaw clenches and he shakes his head. "What a scumbag."

My voice is bitter. "Yeah."

Despite whatever protectiveness that caused him to go on his rant before, he tells me what I need to hear now. "You shouldn't let one bad experience turn you off and if it makes you feel better it doesn't even sound like you should count that one as a first anything."