Resurfacing

Chapter 9

November 2023 (Present)

"I don't want to talk about it!" Eliza kept reiterating with frustration.

"You need to talk about it Eliza. Keeping it all bottled inside you isn't healthy." the calm voice of her hospital mental health therapist told her, Mary something.

"Why? Why should I have to relive the worst moments of my life? Because someone tells me I should?"

"Because saying it can help release emotions tied to those events."

"What do you want me to say? That I was drowned for telling the truth. That every time I said something I was called a liar. That I was beaten and humiliated. And then had a gun to my head that clicked so many times I can't remember." The nurse had sympathy across her face, but didn't say anything.

"I can't tell you that I understand anything of what you have gone through. Tell me about the happiest time in your life?"

"I'm not sure I remember those times." Eliza admitted honestly to the woman. "After a while, you have to let go of everything to stay alive. Forget about it all to focus on surviving. What's happiness when there's nothing but fear in your body and mind?" she looked away from the doctor towards the window. "If I didn't remember the happy times, the pain, the fear wouldn't be so unwelcome. It wouldn't be a shock of the contrast between the two emotions."

"You are a brave woman, Eliza. Your doctor has said that there is some short-term memory loss, but in time, those happy memories should come back." Mary reached a handout to put it on Eliza's, but Eliza drew the hand away. "I'd like to be your friend, if you'll let me." Eliza shook her head.

"Could we take a walk?"

"Of course."

Getting Eliza ready for a walk, the two left the hospital room and walked down the hallway to the elevators.

"I like the garden area." Eliza told her. "I'd like to go there."

"Let's go there then."

~~

Settling into two chairs placed in the in the garden area, as other chairs were also placed around.

"It feels nice having the sun on me, even if it is cooler outside." Eliza wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tighter around her. "I know I need to talk about... everything, but it's hard. I want to put it in a box, like everything else and forget about it." Mary didn't say anything but sat in her chair, listening.

"I don't understand what happened. Usually, journalists are released from any hostage situation relatively quickly. We had our vests on. I told them over and over again I was a journalist. They just kept calling me a liar. A whore other times. A thief and a defiler of truth. I was stationed in the city for nearly five months when we got the word to evacuate. Two members of my team made it out, me and three others didn't." tears were sliding down her face.

"I heard Anthony get shot. I didn't want them to show me his picture, but they had too. Seeing Adam and Drew like they were. I was glad that they were relieved of their suffering earlier than Anthony and I were."

"I don't know what the worst thing they did to me was. All of it. I could say things and maybe getting them out would make me feel better, but honestly, the only thing I really want is to die." She looked straight into Mary's eyes. "Why live when there is nothing to live for."

~~

As expected, she was put on suicide watch, and she welcomed it. While unwilling to take her life herself, she did wish her life would end. It was an honest response to what her life had become.

Over the past month after flying back from Germany to the States, her sister welcomed her in a hospital in Virginia, where she was still at. Slowly she had been fed through tubes, taking small bites of soft easy food, before being removed from the IV food and to regular eating habits. Her body slowly adjusting to taking in nutrients, her gaunt frame filling out from the skin and bones it had been when she was found in that hell.

Pumped with medications to rid her body of every disease possible and fight any infections that may be present. Scans of her body done regularly to figure out if there were any skeletal issues or if anything underneath the surface wasn't working. All it revealed was sustained bruising and scar tissue from months of abuse.

From the day she was taken in late December to the day the Seals found her was just under ten months. Nine months of living but not living all at the same time. Nine months of memories that were forever ingrained in her mind and on her body.

Her sister would be coming to visit again on the weekend, and she didn't know if she should welcome or just tell her sister not to come.... again.

~~

"Bryan is still working at the construction company. He was just promoted to Project Manager, which is nice. He's happy with the new responsibilities." Eliza's sister, Rebecca rattled on, while Eliza said nothing, just listening.

"It's almost Thanksgiving, I was hoping maybe you'd be well enough to come live with us while you continue recovering."

"I don't know Becca." Eliza noted with uncertainty.

"The doctors thinks it might be good for you. We would need to find doctors for you, but they can talk with the hospital near us and put everything in place." Moving seemed uncomfortable, but then again, everything seemed uncomfortable.

"Do you have space for me? You have your kids."

"They'll be fine. We added an apartment above the detached garage in the backyard. It would give you your space, but we would still be there for you." Having space sounded appealing. "I know you there is still a long journey ahead of you, but I want to be there for you. We all do." Becca laid her hand on Eliza's and for once Eliza didn't pull it away.

"I'd like that." Eliza had tears in her eyes. Maybe having a home again would be good.